Today I am making my lists for the 6th time. I doesnt get easier as the times go by, because each time I find that things are changing on the list, both positive and negative. The process of these dares has made me re examine the way I think about my husband and myself. Last nite he came home and we actually had a rare conversation about the finances and the truck and a plan for his medical supplies and everything he was saying was us and in the future and we should do it this way. I listened for the most part, but also gave him my opinions in a nice way. We talked for about ten minutes before his guard went back up because I noticed a football novelty necklace on his dresser and said what is that and he said oh I got that at the flea market when I went out of town last weekend and I said oh ok I didnt know you went to the flea market too I thought you just went to the game and he gave me a nasty look and said oh I didnt know I was supposed to tell you, then he said stop asking me questions and that was the end of our conversation. I left the room and went and proceeded to read my chapter in the bible for the nite and then went to bed in our daughters room as usual. I woke up in the middle of the nite and saw the bedroom light on so he is starting to stay up late like he used to probably on the phone. Today we spoke a few time thru text about the truck and if it was going to be ready today. When I got home I had a mini meltdown about the truck and it not being ready and then we got some unexpected tax notices in the mail and i started to cry because we just dont have the money rite now for all this and I said to him I cant fix all this and he said, I know I dont expect you too. I wish that all of the crazy finance stuff and vehicle stuff would stop I feel like it causes some of our problems. I am praying after I type this for God to help me find peace in all this and to keep pushing every day to get better and to not try to control things so much and to trust that God will help guide me in the rite directions. The lists today were a littel difficult because I am already emotional about the other stuff so this made me more sad because I think about all his good qualtites and then I have to face the bad qualities that he has rite now too and it makes me miss the times when things were not like this and makes me wish things would get better. I know that if things are going to change it will only be in Gods time and if it is Gods will. That has been the hardest thing to get used to, the fact that I cannot control this I cannot make our lives different I just have to trust in Gods plan for us.... g
I woujld say good steps took place. He was willing to show unity. By having that conversation and also when he said he didn't expect you to fix the problems. That's a big step and I wouldn't have guessed that would have taken place at this point.
YOu know it can get better then worse, so if it does, do not concern yourself at all. And I am not thinking it will get worse. He may have calmed down and will stay calmer than he has. Who knows, he surely doesn't at this point.
The financial burdens are placing a stress on you and also on him. But God may be allowing all of this to hit, as a way for you both to hit the wall and then come together as a couple looking at the problem together. But no matter, God uses everything for the good for those that love Him. So keep on loving Him.
He has to keep going up and down. Eventually the pendulum will lose momentum swinging wildly and he will calm down.
Not that you did anythig wrong. But try not to ask anything he will considier a personal question. Maybe really watch asking
questions and just make comments he can respond to. It may ease future conversations. They seem to really go a bit nuts when they get asked innocent questions now and then.