Today is day 30 and i am to pray about a area that is bringing divison to me and my husband, this would be almost every area, we live like roommates. We barely communicate at all, not because I dont want to but because he doesnt want to. Thursday he called me at work because he and our daughter were out with his mom and he texted me at work and said to call him. I thought something might be wrong with Aleea so I called him and he was really nice on the phone talking to me like he used to with a softness in his voice and he said hey my momma wants to take us to the circus tonight, I said ok assuming it was him Aleea and his mom. Well when he picked me up from work and got to the house he asked me if I was going to go change clothes, I just looked at him because I did not think I was going. We had a good time at the circus overall, our daughter really enjoyed it and the whole time our legs were touching and our arms mostly because the seats are so close but he was on the aisle so he could have definitely scooted over some. He was pretty interactive with her and me and his mom. Then when we got home he went in the bedroom like usual and didnt say another word to me. Friday was the same I barely saw him because of work and then today the same thing. I got up this morning and made everyone breakfast like I always do. He ate it and stayed in the room all day until it was time for work. It seems like this is our cycle, we barely speak unless around other people I guess to put on the show that we are normal. I am praying today that this division will go away that we can start to try to speak again and try to live a normal husband and wife life. I have over the past few days praised God for the time we have spend together as a family and for us still being married and under the same roof although at times I feel like if he had an option this would not be so. He does have his bike fixed now so I guess if he really wanted to leave and be apart he would make that happen so I am thanking God he is still here. I am trying to keep my focus on me and the kids and just take each day minute by minute and be grateful for what I have....
For now, do not worry at all that there is so little communication. zjust enjoy the peace when he separates himself, use that time to bring you rest. Becuase you know how it can drain all your energy when he is being rude or angry and taking it out on you. when he is ready to communicate, he will. For now, the lack of communications is the space he needs and rest you need.
He probably enjoyed the closeness and kindness he showed to you at the cjircus. And it may have been for a show, but he probably stll enloyed the moments.
But now, being home after the circus, he knows he dropped his wall and now he has to show to himself and you that he is still surrounded by his wall.
But each time he drops it and puts it back up, He actually encloses Christ more closely to himself inside that wall. And feels His conviction a little more each time. So he will cycle back and forth for who knows how long. But somehow there will eventually be a breaking point in some way.
So, during these times, do as you are doing and be the best you you can be in Christ. And keep your testimony consistent like you have been doing.