Collaborate without boundaries

Day 27 Love encourages

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I'm trying my best to not be discouraged by my husband rite now at this very moment.  It seems like the only time he wants to speak to me is when he wants something or needs something. Like this past weekend when he was out of town, I never heard a word from him until sunday morning when he asked if we were ok and he never responded back to me when I answered. Then monday nite he went and bought some decals for his bike and comes in the house to have me cut them out like he is incapable of it.  Yesterday he sent me a angry text message about our car insurance because he got a text from them saying it was going to be cancelled, he called them only to find out that it was just a warning text to remind customers to pay their bill on time, but he did not apologize to me for being nasty.  Today he is very quiet and was very quiet last nite too.  I asked him tonight if we could watch a movie together because our daughter fell asleep unusually early and he said to me you can watch a movie but not with me.  I am getting more and more worried that this is how our life is going to be forever.  We have zero communication we have zero affection unless it comes from me, he stays in the room all the time when he is home on his phone on Facebook and watching movies and talking to lord knows who. It is horrible. He only interacts with the kids. I'm trying my hardest to just focus on my journey and only my journey, but when you have spent years with someone and they have become part of your life it is so hard to just ignore this. I dont know how he can ignore me the way that he does and be so cold.  It has been almost a month since our horrible fight where he left and ended up sleeping in the car and i said some horrible things to him.  Since this nite I have not said one word to him about our relationship or asked him for anything when it comes to me and him, almost all communication is about the kids or bills, I greet him the same way everyday I speak to him in a loving tone, I try to believe the best, I dont question him about anything.. it is difficult but I have found some peace in just living day to day focusing only on me and the kids, but I cant help but feel a little bit of worry tonight that this is not a good thing because it is putting a much bigger wedge between us. I am trying to follow thru with my dare for today by trying to talk to him about how i expect too much in certain areas of our life, like exspecting him to forgive me for whatever he is holding onto about me that causes him to hate me and to push me away like he does. I went into the bedroom and said to him that I wanted to tell him I'm sorry and he looked at me and said I dont want to hear your crap, if you start I'm going to leave.  Anytime I try to talk to him about feelings or what I am trying to do to change myself so that our relationship mite change he does not want to hear it and always threatens to leave. 
I dont know how to communicate with this man anymore and that scares me. I have prayed and prayed about this and asked God what should I do. I have prayed for God to help my husband learn to forgive me and soften his heart towards me. It just feels like he is still so angry and hates me no matter what I do, no matter how much I love him, how much i treat him with love and respect, no matter how much I respect his space.  I'm trying to focus on God and his love and trying to find comfort in this, but tonight for some reason it is extra hard, I'm in tears as I write this.  I dont know what to do anymore, I really miss my husband even though he is in the next room....

  • Some days and nights the flesh just really gets our emotions and thoughts all jumbled up.  Nights like this just remember to be still.  You do anything more than that, it is going to be you trying to take control.  And evil wants that to happen.  

    Take time to thank God that he is involved with the kids, he will talk to you about necessary things, and you are still married.  

    The voids that you want filled.  Small talk, watching a movie, his affection......   All these things are good in a marriage, but now is the time to leave everything, including the things you miss, off to the  side and put Christ front and center.  The moment He does not feel like enough to satisfy your desires, is the moment you need to jump into prayer, the bible, or talk to a strong christian mentor.  

    This hard moment you are in will pass as you seek Christ.

    You have been finding more peace lately.  Why let tonight take that away?  

    You have faced and succeeded in Christ in much harsher moments.  Let God conquer tonight for you.

  • Tim is right. What you are feeling is pretty normal since we are humans afterall. But God is calling us to be above the world -- that is to be above our human emotions. The enemy will really attack you where you are weak; putting thoughts into ypur head. This is the reason why we must alaways pray.

    It is normal to seek affection from your husband. He is your husband afterall. But you must remember to keep God above anything or anyone, may it be your husband. Having said that, at times when you feel lonely or sad or alone, instead of craving for your hubs' affection, turn to God and He will sustain you. Allow God to fill in the missing pieces in you.

  • A number of years ago, someone on here said that God is working on our partners whenever they are away from us.  During this time, we are to work on our own healing and taking care of ourselves.  This really helped me when my husband was away a lot.  I found it a lot easier to handle

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