I felt something I have never felt before last nite. I felt like I dont love my husband the same anymore...its very hard to explain. He had been gone since saturday morning and I didnt hear one word from him until 10 oclock sunday morning when he sent a text saying are you guys ok? I responded yes how about you. nHe never replied back. I was at work yesterday afternoon when he got home so when i came home I just walked in the house and hugged the kids and looked at him and said welcome home. That was it no hug like I usually would try to do no trying to kiss him on the cheek nothing because I know he does not want that. We watched some of the football game together last nite and ate dinner watching the game, he looked tired like he had not slept at all and "people" kept texting him on his phone. Every once in awhile I would catch him looking over at me almost as if he was waiting for me to ask him how his weekend was but I did not ask. We slept in seperate rooms like always, I prayed last nite and thanked God for brinigng him home safe, for bringing him home at all. I prayed that I continue to have this strenght when it comes to my husband to give him space. I started crying because I really do miss the fun we had and just the day to day life we shared, I miss sleeping next to him, him texting me or calling me just because during the day, our 4 year anniversary is coming up in march and this year has been so baf i dont even know what to do on that day. This morning I actually went into the room while he was asleep and just cuddled up behind him, he let me do it suprisingly and i just silently prayed that we can mend our marriage somehow. I am chosing again today to forgive my husband for the way he has been treating me and the kids the past 8 months,for the isolation he is causing in our house, for not letting us repair things for him not being able to forgive me for whatever he feels like I am doing wrong, for choosing social media and his bike club and other women over our marriage....I'm chosing to forgive him for not having a relationship with God and truly wanting our marriage to get better. I'm chosing to forgive him for being selfish and only being concerned with his feelings....
Keep on forgiving as Christ has forgiven us. Love is a choice, so keep choosing to love him regardless. I love my wife more now that I ever have even though she will not talk to me. It is a different love than what I had before, it is a much greater love. As far as your anniversary goes, pray about it and do whatever you feel would convey your message to him without invading his space. Make plans, make a special dinner, just remember that he may not reciprocate the affection but you are doing it for him, not yourself. Keep making those right decisions and they will pay off some day.
If you get to the point that you don't feel the love for him, remember to lead your heart. That will keep you in the journey.
i think that is a good choice to limit or stop the hugs and kisses. It gets in his space and really we do those things seeking comfort from our spouse most times. This can be considered a dare a day, no more.