Im up early on a saturday morning because #1 he just left to go on his trip this weekend and #2 now I cant sleep because I have a lot running thur my mind. The past few days he has been communicating a tiny bit more. Thursday nite he had to close at work so I knew he would be coming home late. I was asleep in our daughters room and he came in at 1:45 and came into the room, something he never does and woke me up. He said I just wrecked the bike. I sat up and just looked at him and said you are kidding rite? He said no it was not too bad but I am going to take the truck to go get the pieces that came off. I asked him if he was hurt and he said no, I got up and gave him a hug and he healfway hugged back. He was off all day yesterday and stayed home with our daughter and he hadher call me a few times at work then when I got home last nite he stayed in the living room all nite and actually wathched a movie with us. He got up this morning and packed his bag and is now outside wating for them to pick him up. He wont be home until sometime tomorrow nite and I do feel a little anxiety abouthim going, but not as much as i have previous times. I did get up this morning and told him I hope he has a safe trip. I will never understand his fascinationwith these bike clubs and the parties EVER. As much as I pray about it and pray for peace and patience when it comes to this subject I still cant help but feel like if he were not in this type of environment our marriage and life would be more stable and just overall better. The temptation to do sinful things is magnified with this type of thing and it has always been hard to just turn my head to it. I try very hard to support it and believe the best but it still gets to me. Today I am supposed to remove distractions that are hindering my relationship, but honestly i dont have any that are doing this. All my focus is on my family, myhusband and God I think about these things all the time. If I had something to remove I would. I cant help but feel like he is the one with the distractions that he should remove, however he is not where I am in life I guess and he does not see the need to get rid of the things that are causing him to be distracted. Today Iwill continue to pray for him and that he will seek a relationship with God first, something he needs so desperately. I will pray that in Gods time everything will come to the light for him and he will see how he should be living. I pray that me and my children will have peace this weekend and that he will come home safe. This is definitely a test for me to see how strong I have really become in my faith and in my peace. I just saw him get picked up and I cant tell who is in the car, Ihope that he is just going with guys, I'm going to believe that he is just going with guys and that he will not do anything to break the covenant of our marriage. Itsgoing to be a long prayer filled weekend. I'm trying to praise God more than ask God for his help, I dont want to be ungrateful for all the good that is in my life and for what God is doing already....
I had to laugh when I read he wrecked his bike. The thing he was really after and it was taken from him. Maybe by God. Maybe God knew that accident would humble him and that is why he changed for the better at least for now. If he comes back like he was, it may be just for a time, because he wants to show you he is still hardened and did not cave in. Mine wrecked her car a year ago. I was shocked she came to me like yours did to you.
You have removed a lot of your worries or at least lessened them. Which is great. But maybe the distractions you are being asked to remove are all of your worries or fears of what he is doing or who he is with. To remove those thoughts and replace them with knowing with all things, everything is forgivable and everything turns out for good for those that love Him.
As far as supporting the bike club. Pray about that. Are you supporting evil, or sin? Yes, be kind and patient, but be cautious if you are suporting things that should not happen. I know you can not attack the club because it will drive him fartther away, but be cautious in how you support the club.
I wasn't tryibg to sound mean when I said I had to laugh. But it is funny how God can use the things we love to bring us to Him. LIke he is using our spouses as a tool to bring us closer to Him.
Tim I laughed too after I found out he was ok. I thought the same thing he has wanted and wanted his bike fixed then he goes and buys another one the same exact model color and everything instead of waiting on Gods time for this he rushed it and now is putting us farther behind financially and he goes and wrecks it the first nite he has it, He was able to fix it but still in my mind that would tell me to sit my butt down and wait for the rite time instead of making more messes with it. We will see how he is when he comes home since he got his "way" and is on a trip...
He ended up texting me when they got there this morning but that is all I have heard from him and am not expecting to hear anything else....It always baffles me how this man can just go and be away from his family and not want to check on us. We are under tornado warning until tomorrow nite and I am pretty sure he does not even think about checking on us. I pray that I will be able to make it tomorrow nite not saying anything to him and just letting him be and just trusting that everything turns out good. I know that I am much stronger in my faith and have felt today that I trust God more than anything and its not bothering me or consuming my mind like it once did. I actually had a good day with my daughter just me and her we went to lunch and to the store and came home and watched her favorite movie, I'm trying to enjoy my life more instead of always worrying about my husbands next move. God is in control
Your daughter will pick up on the changes in you and that is a gift you are giving her. I am sure your husband has you and the family on his mind often,, and fights the conviction he is feeling since he is putting his worldly desires above God's will. No one can escape that.
So, keep leaving him to God to handle.