Collaborate without boundaries

Day 19 Love is impossible....

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Today is day 19 round 5, it still does not seem real to me it has been this long and I am still doing the dares. The past few days I have done a lot of praying in areas that I feel still feel impossible. I am trying to be still and let God continue to do his work in me and hopefully my husband one day.  It has been a struggle because he has been a roller coaster as always. Sunday nite he went out with his bike club and I am thankful that he told me that was what he was doing, but of course in my mind I wished he would have stayed home so I could get some sleep because my neck is still killing me and Im afraid to take any medication when I am the only one home with the kids. He didnt come home until 2 am but I was grateful he came home. Then yesterday he had something going on that he did not want me to know about because he dropped me off at work and then he came home and cleared out the truck he took the car seat out and cleared out the back of it (my son was home for the holiday and texted me this).  He was supposed to pick me up from work at 4:30 and sent me  text saying he would not be able to until 5:30 then he texted me at 5 and said to call my dad because he would not make it.  Needless to say my dad was not happy about this and took it upon himself last nite to have a talk with my husband about being responsible for his family and asked him what our status is.  Now when my husband came home last nite he was in a decent mood, he was sitting in living room which he never does, I think he mite have been waiting on me to ask him where he was all day, however I didnt.  Once he talked to my dad he came in the house in a foul mood and went into the bedroom and shut and locked the door. I sent him a text saying good nite I love you and he sent me one back saying "you can stop with that"  That hurt my feelings, but I told myself he was probably acting out at me because of my dad.  Im trying not to focus on the fact he told my dad not to worry about it when he asked him what our status is. I'm going to just pray today for God to show me how to continue to love unconditonally, I'm going to see him, and ask God for grace and to help me continue to walk with him. I have to keep praying and seek God, I have to try to keep my mind off the bad thoughts that keep trying to creep in.....

  • Are you feeling growth in Christ from round to round.  I think we all see it where you are more in Christ's comfort than before.  

    It's a big step for him to let you know where he was going.  But he probably was fuming at himself afterward because he let you know, and felt he caved in.  

    While you are doing the dares keep to doing the no more part of this.  Such as not texting good night, Love you.    Especially if you were doing it for your comfort.  These little extras bring out the flesh in him more.  And it feels like you are right there, in his space.  i know it isn't fun having him in another room, with the door closed.  but as you have been mentioning, thank God that he is under the same roof as you.

  • Amen at thanking God he is still in the house.  My husband actually pushed me out of our home, so the dares at this point are more for me to just simply learn to love more like Jesus.  I totally get how you felt when he told you to quit with the texting you love him.  My husband pretty much told me the same thing...said it made him very uncomfortable.  Just keep loving him.  Keep pursuing God through it all.  I finally made it to the place where I can honestly say no matter what happens with my marriage and husband, I will trust God.  One thing that sunk in to my heart is that God is faithful.  He keeps every promise He has made to us in His word.  The most comforting to me is rather two-fold...He promises never to leave me or forsake me.  And He promises nothing can snatch me from His hand or separate me from His love for me.  I know one day He will take me home to be with Him and I won't ever have to be afraid of losing His love or my home.  That brings me such comfort these days.  Keep praying!  Pray! Pray! Pray!  Refuse to allow the bad thoughts to take root in your mind...you can battle that by immediately filling your mind with something from the Word of God.  One line of one of His promises to us can send the enemy running for cover...and remember he is the one planting those negative thoughts.  It is his mission to destroy any and everything God loves and He loves us...He loves our spouses...so stand your ground and submit to God and the enemy will have to flee, taking his negative thoughts,  lies and innuendoes with him!!  After studying and praying for insight into the marriage covenant, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, when we pray for our spouses and our marriages to be restored, healed, made whole, that we are praying the will of God...but I have also learned that what He is more concerned with is our hearts and our relationship with Him.  When He moves on our spouses, I just believe He wants our hearts to be prepared and so full of unconditonal love that our marriages will never end up where they are in this season of brokenness for us all.  Keep praying for your husband!  Cover him in a mantle of prayer every day.  More important than reconciliation with you, is reconciliation with God.  I believe when a person is reconciled with God wholly, they will then desire what God desires, which will be to be a better husband/wife for the glory of God.  I am praying for you too!  I try to make sure I pray for all the marriages represented on this site, every day.  For the wayward spouses, I pray as I do for my own husband.  Have peace in knowing that even though you can't see what's going on behind the scenes, God is fighting for you!  Exodus 14:14 (NIV)  "The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still."  We can do absolutely nothing to change our spouses, but God can!  Hang in there, hon...God hears your heart and sees your tears and He moves even when we don't see the evidence yet!!  

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