So last nite was pretty uneventful, I got off work came home made us all dinner. I put dinner on the table and he walked by and I said dinner is ready. He looked at me and said dont cook for me anymore. I just sat down with the kids and we tired to enjoy dinner without him. He went into the bedroom like always and ended up coming out later and fixing himself a plate. I was not int he mood to celebrate new years at all and our daughter was afraid of fireworks that were being set off outside so we huddled in her room and watched peppa pig until she fell asleep. We both were knocked out by 9 I think and I was grateful for this time with my little one it took my mind of things. Well then the bomb dropped our oldest daughter called around 11:00 crying because my son was texting her and her sister about me and her dad saying he thinks we are getting a divorce and how he thinks that my husband hates him and just a bunch of stuff that is really upsetting. She called me wanting to know what was going on. I told her that things are still the same and that I am doing my best with her dad, but I cant promise anything. Well she called him and I heard him a little on the phone and she texted me back saying daddy is so dumb he thinks we are all ganging up on him and he wont talk to me. This hurt me because now he is behaving like this with the kids too. I told her to just pray that is all we can do. This is the first time in 8 years together we did not see each other face to face or even hug for new years, it passed with us in seperate rooms. I did praise God that he was still under the same roof. Today was another typical day where we both had to work. I didnt hear from him all day until it was time for me to get off and he texted me asking if I needed a ride home. It is difficult to communicate with this man this way, but I guess for now this is the only way we can. I am grateful for the small victories that have occurred over the past two days he is still here and me and the kids are learining to cope with things and trying our best to have a normal family life. I was not able to complete days dare of buying him something to let him knwo that I am thinking about him because I did not have a way to the store or anything. I was kind to him in how I greeted him today and I could tell he was in pain tonight the way he sat on the couch so I offered him some tylenol but he declined and went into the bedroom, Dare not complete, but I am showing kindness and love despite the circumstances. Praying for continued strength and guidance.
Its kind of funny how our spouses put themselves in certain situations, such as your husband saying don't cook anything for him. Yet, a grown man knows he will eventually get to hungry and will have to eat the food you prepared eventually. And this adds to his frustrations with himself. All of your kindness of letting him know supper is ready and him refusing at first just intensifies the conviction he feels, which is good, even if he takes it out on you and the kids for a bit.
When the kids let the other spouse know he is wrong or they show worry about what he is up to, it adds more convictions and thus more stress he has to deal with. and he will not like it and lash out. but, the message he is messing up will remain with him, adding more of Christ's conviction.
Keep doing a dare a day and always showing patience and kindness such as you are doing. Enjoy that time with the kids and be yourself in Christ the best you can especially when he is being difficult. And when he is being rude, keep offering kindness, such as offering tylenol. He feels the Christ in you. He can not deny that. So stay consistent in being patient and kind. It leaves the door more fully open for Christ to work in him.