Today is day 2 and I am still feeling the same about everything. I literally was up till about 4 am last nite crying, I could not stop, I just feel so much saddness when it comes to everything, maybe I am just tired and over emotional. I went into the room in the middle of the nite and he was up, I asked him if we could talk and he said no of course he said about what dont you think you have said enough to me. I just walked out of the room and went into our daughters room to try to sleep and spent the rest of the nite crying and thinking. Its like I could not stop replaying all of the stuff that has taken place the last 8 months. This morning I got up like usual on a saturday and made breakfast for everyone. He took me to work did not even look at me or speak to me. Then he was supposed to take our son and his friend to a trampoline park and he ended up coming to my job and calling me to come outside to basically reprimande me and my son for being dumb because we assumed he was going to sign a waver for his friend to jump. Needless to say it did not go as planned they didnt get to go and he said to me this is why I cant get along with you you make such stupid mistakes all the time. I had my dad pick me up from work and came home to make dinner. Again he is in the room I brought him his dinner and he said dont cook for me I dont want you doing anything for me. I think he mite be going out tonight who knows. I'm kind of hoping he does I just dont want to have this tension anymore and I know if he is here I will at some point want to say something to him and it doesnt feel like new years eve, last year we celebrated with firends and this year we are not even in the same room. In addition to saying nothing negative to him, I made him dinner and am going to leave him alone even though I want us to be together as a family, this will complete my dare for the day. I hope that I have a better nite tonight, hopefully I can just sleep. Praying.
And Tim, I just want you to know that your posts always give me hope that I am doing the rite thing thru Christ. I am so grateful to you and this site, it keeps me focused.
I prayed for us. For all of us. I am not the best to give you advise as I am very new here and I know nothing and this is a new journey for me. But I think that no matter how many times he said he don't want anything from you, you shouldn't stop. Give him space but still be there as you should.
I will continue praying for us.
Thanks for your kind words. It gets tough when the harsh words and actions are non stop with no reprieve from the spouse. but during those harsh times, resist going to his room to talk. Sure the urge will be there to want to talk and to gain a little ground with him. But it is not what he is wanting, to talk, just give him space, as much as you can, other than when doing a dare.
As far as making him a meal, this for sure pray on, but consider next time, make enough for every one including him, but don't dish it up and let him know supper is ready if he would like to eat. Then leave it to him if he wants to come out of the room to get the food or ask you to bring him a plate. Again, I am not saying this is the right thing to do, so for sure pray about it first.
i know 8 months seems forever. But it really will be a short time considering the rest of this life with Christ and also eternity with Him. So keep standing in Christ, especially in the hurt. God knows how many days are left in this trial for you. But consider something like this, that each time you go to his room to talk, you are adding on a week or so to the journey. Now of course I have no clue if that is even close to true. But space, space, space. it is what is going to help you and help him wind down.
If he goes out, yes, enjoy the peacefulness that it brings and let Christ know you enjoy His comfort and peace even more. the same when he stays in the bedroom. Just think of it as you love him, but are grateful the big dummy is keeping his attitude confided to the one room. And as best you can, be you in Christ. Easier said than done, i know. but if this goes another 8 months, you will see the endurance you have gained through Christ. The moment you can't take it any more, is the moment God lifts you up so you are refreshed in Him to endure the trial in Him.