Today is Day 38 and I am not sure what to do, I am full of anxiety snd have been up crying all night. Last night me and my husband got into the worst fight we have ever had. He came home from work and was all smiles of course and then when he got done with his shower went directly into the bedroom and shut and locked the door. I tried all nite to just ignore it and just be with my kids but then around 9:30 I just flipped. I went and banged on the door and he opened and it said what do you want and I just let everything I have been holding in lately from the always being on fb to the ignoring me to how I feel about him and his ex to not being able to sleep in the same bedroom it all came flying out. He got up and put on clothes and started to leave the house and I was freaking out and saying no if you leave then you will never be able to see our daughter and was trying to block him from leaving the house. I dont know what happened to me I just flipped out, I guess it was a build up of everything I have wanted to say to him but couldnt. He was furious there was a look in his eye that I have never seen before, he was pushing me out of his way he was yelling at me and telling me that I did this to us and that I was never going to see or hear from him again and that he would find someone better than me and that I'm crazy. He walked out of the house and didnt take his house keys or the car keys. I have no idea where he went. I have been up all nite crying and sick to my stomach. I have prayed and asked God for forgiveness for my words and actions and am trying to find peace thru all this, but I cant help but believe that this was it, that I will never hear from him again and he will move on with someone else. I failed miserably....
I wouldn;t say you failed. Anyone standing for their marriage the best they can in this situation is doing far more than the world would ever do.
When he comes home again, and of course no one can guarrantee that, but I think he will in time. I will ave to finish in a bit. Sorry.
So, if he comes back he will continue the staying in the bedroom and staying on FB. But instead of letting it get to you, thank God he has chosen to stay home instead of what so many spouses do and go out doing all kinds of things. And thank God he has chosen to keep his anger in the bedroom vs spewing non stop venom throughout the house.
So, next time, keep patient in Christ and leave him be. Until you consistently give him space over time, things are most likely to stay the same. Once you leave him completely to God, that's when the changes may take place. Your husband will see you not being in his face (which is the way he feels).
Those voids you feel with the lack of communication and so forth, let those voids be filled with Christ. Who better to spend quatlity time with than Christ?
I know how hard it is not hard say those things. I also don't see my wife ignoring me every day like you do. When she was home she was constantly on her phone ignoring me, I retreated into my shell. I didn't do the love dares then, but I don't know if it would have made a difference. She CHOSE to stop loving me.
I know it hurts and I can only pray that you get strength and healing and Joy from the Lord.