Collaborate without boundaries

Love is not rude

  • Comments 6

This will be a day of reflection and reinforcing the previous dares since contacting him when he doesn't want to hear from me would be rude. I've thought about things I have done in the past that could be considered to him as rude. The only thing I can come up with is how when he would make a decision to make some kind of change around the house and I would voice my opinion if I had a different idea. He always took it as an argument whether or not it was said argumentatively, which it never was. I would say something like "I was thinking about doing this". I never realized how emasculating it may have sounded to him, which was never my intention. I was simply trying to discuss the options.

On a good note, I have noticed small changes in my relationship with my teenage daughter, not that we had any real issues, but she is a teenager, lol. Everyday, I have been writing the topic of the love dare on a whiteboard in the kitchen and I believe it is giving her food for thought.

  • There's no problem with voicing you opinion. It's just HOW you voice your opinion that matters. Then if he really wants to do something is it going to be that bad? Make sure your own pride due to selfish desires isn't getting in the way. I know that's what I was like for years.

    Many times it won't matter how you say something to him. It's how he perceives it. Think about that before voicing your opinion. Tell him you like his idea and that you also have an idea you would like him to listen to and see what happens.

    Since I was baptized seven months ago and started The Love Dare last month I have seen my relationship grow with my children because I am so much more patient and understanding even with them. God's presence in your life will reap so many benefits. It starts by making you a better person that people will have no choice but to love.

    "To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. "

    Titus 3:2

  • Next time, do the dare.  Do all the dares as intended, without manipulating or  changing them in any way.  

    That's a neat idea about writing the dares down for her and you to see each day.  Would you be able to take a minute or two each day to discus the topic?  But, keep in mind if she shares what you write down with him, he may use it against you in some way, especially if he figures out you are doing the dares.

  • Because he may view it as you doing a step by step guide to influence him and win him back.  If he brings it  up, let him know you are on a journey with Christ and this is a way you are growing closer to Him.  

    But, don't not share with the daughter because of the possible concern if he finds out.  and if he does, and if he  uses it against you, it  will be short lived.  

  • Okay Tim, since it is still technically my day 5, I took your advice and sent him a text asking him to tell me the three things. I'm feeling pretty anxious over it because I know he doesn't want to hear from me, but you were right, I have to complete the dares to the best of my ability for my own sake. Thank you!

  • that's great you took the dare a step further.  But next time take it a step further yet and ask if not  able to  in person, ask over the phone, even if you know he won't answer, leave a voice mail.  

    Do not fear his reaction.  He will be over it  in minutes, hours, or  a couple  days max, at least that's been what  typically happens.  Fear is not of God.  Doing this  to grow in Christ, have faith He is covering you in all of this.  I know, it gets scary, but overcome that fear and you will be glad you did no matter his reaction.  And if he reacts negatively at first, that serves purpose, in that Christ can use that to  convict him.  

    I do like the  idea of writing down the days dare or the summary of the dare for the daughter.

  • Initially, when I started writing down the dare, it was to remind myself. My daughter doesn't even know I'm doing the dares. But she sees these random messages, "love is patient", "love is not selfish", etc. change everyday, and she sees the transformation in me. I'm thankful for this opportunity to show her what love is supposed to be, and to break the cycle of generations being poor examples.

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