Collaborate without boundaries

Day 6

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Well today I was a bit relieved to wake up and find Day 6 I didn't have to contact him for any reason. Today I could just focus on myself and own thoughts. Even so, I text him this morning to wish him a good day and tell him that I loved him. He text back a few hours later to wish me the same and to say he loved me, too. He also said he would text me when his plane landed! I was not expecting that at all. Of course I never heard from him but I will take it!

 

Today I must focus on what irritates me in my spouse and create more margin in my schedule. I figured out after writing some stuff down this schedule margin thing really meant I needed to create more time in my day for God. I also need to stop getting irritated when he leaves me on these little trips he takes because it is only going to give the devil a passage into my heart and not closer to God. I can't allow what my husband is doing to affect me negatively throughout this challenge, and I have to lean on Him to get stronger in that way. Before when my husband would leave for work trips weeks at a time I wouldn't be this upset or needy, now all I can do is check my phone to see if he has read or responded to my texts! Ever since our fight 2 weeks ago things have been different but I am hopeful throughout this challenge. I love him so much, but I need to learn to love God first before him. As I have figured out through this challenge if I put the love I have for my spouse before my love for God it will only cause me pain, something logically I would not have expected to happen! After all this time our marriage has been good, and just this 1 fight we are close to divorce (my husband's view, not mine). I didn't understand how he could think this way and now I am realizing it is because I put my love for him before God and before myself. I let myself become the dependent spouse and I have to change that. I can't love God and be dependent on someone else for my happiness!

Thanks for reading.

  • Sorry, i just noticed you had journaled yesterday.  I didn't mean to skip replying.  Welcome to the site.

    This will be a journey between you and Christ, not you and your husband.  He will be used as a tool to mold you.  Do a dare a day, no more, no less.   Do not manipulate the dares to make them easier.

    Don't worry about texting or trying to keep in touch between the dares.  This will give him the space he wants and keep God in control of all this, not you.

    Do not read ahead in the book, other than the appendix, especially about leading the heart.  things often get worse before it gets better.  Do not look for a reaction or have any expectations of him when you do the dares.  

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