I have been away for awhile...moved into my apartment and getting settled in. I am doing well. I have joined a Bible study on the book, "The Broken Way" by Ann Voskamp and will begin a divorce care group tomorrow evening at my church. I am preparing to get back into ministry work at one of the local prisons where I have the privilege of facilitating a "Breaking Free" class. God is faithful. The divorce papers were signed last Friday and it will be final on January 19. Being in my own place has brought a peace I was surprised at. There are moments the loneliness and despair want to creep in, but I immediately begin to thank God for His faithfulness, for He never breaks a promise. I have learned to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ and I like who I am becoming in Him...I like myself for the first time in a very long time. I love my husband. I love him more than I actually realized I did, but I know I cannot change one thing about him...but God can do anything. I pray every day and most nights for my husband, then I leave him in God's hands. Something Ann Voskamp said in the video we watched last night made an impression on me...she was talking about the last supper Jesus had with His disciples...how He broke the bread and gave it away. She said when He died on the cross, He was broken so He could give Himself away. I am learning there is healing and beauty in my own brokenness but that as I am broken, I am to give myself away in service to others as God leads me. When I think where I was spiritually back in October and where God has brought me to this day, I find myself thanking Him for my broken heart...as it has broken, I've allowed God in to love me and I am learning to love in return. My desire has not changed for my marriage to be restored....or better said, for my marriage to be born again in Christ...but I will trust God to do whatever He chooses, whenever he chooses. God is faithful Psalm 43:4 in the HCSB says: Then I will come to the altar of God, to God, my greatest joy. He is my greatest joy!
I will remember to pray tomorrow night! I still have the sticky note on my closet wall reminding me to pray for the marriages represented here on the Love Dare Journal site, so I pray for you all every day!
Now this doesn't even relate to the Love Dare, except to ask if anyone else is having issues with when posting a comment on someone's journal, halfway through, there is a disconnect and you end up back at the sign in window??? Anyone else having that problem and if so, is there a fix? Thank you!
Oh, and I am on my third round of the Love Dare! I think day 90 and I still learn something new! Yep, God is faithful!
(PS) This is a prayer I've been praying for spouses (including mine) who may be unfaithful, may be thinking about it or even for those we just don't know what they are doing: Father, in the Name of Jesus, I ask You to hedge up (name) way with thorns and wall him/her in so that he/she cannot find his/her paths. If he/she chases other lovers, I ask You to not allow him/her to overtake them. If he/she seeks them, I ask You not to let him/her find them. Lord, I ask You to bring him/her to the place he/she will say, 'I will go and return to (your name) my wife/husband --for it was better for me than now.' Lord, do to (name) what you did to Gomer in the book of Hosea. Father, go even a step further and do to (name) what You did for Israel in walling them in so they turned back to You in repentance and obedience. I ask this in the powerful, beautiful Name of Jesus, Your Son. Amen.
Your prayer is much better than mine. I simetimes pray if she is with another male, she throws up on him or vice versa. And that keeps them separated. LOL.
When typing a longer mesage. Sometimes I will hit the post button. And then continue again like i will here.
This helps in the site resetting. Also, if you notice the page drop a little, go to the top left hand side of the page, click on the message,somethign about extending your time. Also, some people use to type on a word document and then paste here. Sometimes I copy and paste what i type and then I have some of it saved in case what I type gets deleted.
I thank God fo rthis site, but it does have some areas it could be improved upon. But thank God for all the people that put the LD together.
The peace you have during this time is above all understanding. Thank God for that peace. Knowing you will be more than fine.
Even if the law says you are divorced soon, that does not mean God sees you as divorced. continue to be kind and patient.
You have learned a lot, when you can be grateful in a time like this.
May His peace continue to be with you. Thanks for the prayers.