Meet a need for spouse to show he is cherished.
Father/Daughter Dance was celebrated and the girls were ecstatic to look gorgeous for Daddy. They looked beautiful and I bought corsages for the girls wrists and for his jacket. I wanted it to be special. He looked great, I took pics and told him thank you for really dressing up nicely for his girls because they were so thrilled to have a special evening with him. He was pleased with the effort of the flowers and how beautiful the girls were, claiming, "Oh! I was going to do that. Thanks so much." I wished them a great wknd...did not bring up church (as he never brings them if it is his wknd...ugh).
Had a peaceful evening away from the chaos. My relationship with the Lord is stronger; my relationship with my husband is non-existent. It's easier to walk away from the wreckage when someone is waiting in the wings. (That can be taken two ways) . I continue to move forward despite being on a roller coaster ride. What is this doing to my daughters to see that a man leaves even if he says he still loves you? How will they ever trust a man to truly love them and know they are there for the long haul? The devastation of divorce is so far reaching. I find myself praying more and more about my being the mother these girls are going to need.
And, yes, once again, I note my focus on him and my selfishness in the above paragraph(you would think I'd learn how to delete, huh?). I'm coming to understand "Be Still" more...I initially was referencing it as a need to not engage my mouth or take a physical action when not guided by wisdom, patience, knowledge, kindness. But, as I have been working on continuously since last summer (self-control), Being Still is also quieting my mind, my thoughts...which seem to always gear towards the negative. I have been told this repeatedly in the past when it came to handling depression...but now it seems much more clear once I actually put it into action. AND, something grabbed me when I was watching Fireproof when Caleb said that his wife never thinks he could be doing something honorable, respectful, or with kindness in his intent. I am guilty of this. Everytime I get hurt/heated by words/actions of his, I am reminded of many, many things I have done...not just to him, but in dealing with people my family and friends.
This is not easy. My husband has blown off most of my attempts, but God is near. And I am working on humbling myself for Him. What a process this is.
No need to worry about humbling yourself. Christ is opening that door for you. Remember, Christ will mold you more in His image each day. That does include humbling.
And when our spouses reject or blow off our dares, Be Still plays such a big role. Because at the end of that there is "For I am God..."
We must let God do His thing and we need to not get in the way. Our spouses human nature at times does not allow them to accept things like the dares. Their pride will not let them.... This is where God will work His plan.
And remember, God is molding you, and needs you to be at a certain place so that when your testimony is needed, not only can you handle it (God will never give you more than you can handle), but it is one that is trusted.