I am believing that the lord will restore my marriage. I am waking up everyday praying about it but I no longer feel obsess about it. I know is God will that will be done not mine and I can control that or control my husband. Does it hurts sometimes, yes it hurts but my purpose in life now is to be happy with or without him. I have been thinking that even thought I want him back i am not sure it is good idea yet. Yes there are things I have change but what if it is only temporary. I mean I know I will never be perfect but I have to be better. I am working on my patience something I truly believe I am not equipped with. And there are other things too. Now is he inperfect too certainly but I am undertanding now that I wont change him. That this battle I will only win praying and God will make him see what he needs to change without me yelling it out loud.
On another note. He has not left since valentine's day. I really dont k n ow what his living condition is but he is here. He is supposed to travel tomorrow for the weekend but I asked him at what time he want me to take him and he didn't say anything. I am okay with him being here I don't care about any arrangements. Not right now. Not really the time to expect more. I invited him to expend next weekend with me for my birthday and he said yes. But we will see.
Anyways I am in a weird place right now. Just dealing with me and my personal issues. Not happy but not sad.
You're finding comfort in Christ and realizing it things go according to God's timing, not yours. And also you are getting to the point of knowing you can have joy in Christ even with this trial.
Thank God he is staying. and let God know all your comfort comes from Him.