Collaborate without boundaries

Is not my battle. Is his

  • Comments 8

I have a very interesting day. Let me start by saying that yesterday I called him and he finally answer, I could tell he was annoy by me, he told me he has nothing to talk about but I manage to talk for like an hour he said a few things but not much.

Today I texted him to ask him to come over because our son has a school proyect that he has to make with his family (the child wants to cook) which is something me and my husband used to do together. That text was in the morning so far he has no answer me and I got really upset in the afternoon and text him a few hard things because I don't like he disappointing my son. I think that he could at least text back and say no. How hard can that be? 

Just when I was going to send him a message saying dont contact us anymore I realized I was doing this the wrong way. Is not my battle. Is not me fighting. If I want God will to be done I have to let him do his work so I just decided to start praying. I pray for a little bit send him a text saying I am sorry and amazingly I took a 4 hours nap. 

He knows he hurts me when he acts that way and he hurts our child but I will forgive him. I will continue to pray for us and I know God is fighting for me. I am looking forward to tomorrow.  

  • it's great when we are given clarity. :) thank Him for it.

    Next time be more mindful with your thoughts and feelings. I know it is for your son but maybe, just maybe, inside you were hoping he'd show -- that you'd get to spend time with him that is why you acted very upset and way beyond the normal.

    have less to no expectations from him and expect more from God so you will never get your heart broken each time.

  • Oh I wanted to see him that's the true but what I don't like is that he just ignore me. I got upset because a simple I am sorry I have work or just I don't want to will suffice because I already know he doesn't want to be with me but I feel he doesn't want to be a part of my son life either and I Really don't know what to do about that.

  • as far as what to do about that (being part of your son's life)  there is nothing you can do but leave it in God's hands.  

    As Princess said, have no expectations of him.  When there is something he should be taking care of, like helping your son, ask him to help, but when he ignores his responsibilities you need to just take over and continue to have no expectations for now.

    It is not fair I know.  But look at the times you have ignored God calling you to be closer to Him and you ignored Him.  We have all done it.  And yet God stayed patient with you and continued to love you.  So, do the same for your husband when he ignores you.

  • as far as what to do about that (being part of your son's life)  there is nothing you can do but leave it in God's hands.  

    As Princess said, have no expectations of him.  When there is something he should be taking care of, like helping your son, ask him to help, but when he ignores his responsibilities you need to just take over and continue to have no expectations for now.

    It is not fair I know.  But look at the times you have ignored God calling you to be closer to Him and you ignored Him.  We have all done it.  And yet God stayed patient with you and continued to love you.  So, do the same for your husband when he ignores you.

  • You cannot control your husbands actions.  You only have control over how you react to them.  when you are hurting, get on your knees and pray, pray, pray.  I've been shattered a few times in my journey, and perhaps I will again.  I'm trying to heal.  I trust God and Christ have me no matter the outcome.

    Your husband has free will.  Depending on his walk with Christ, he may have a moment when he is brought to his knees.  Be ready if that happens to be supportive.  But for now do the dares as best you can.  Focus on Christ and yourself.

    Try to be supportive of your son, he will be hurt throughout this so do not dismiss his feelings, listen and show him how strong you are and Christ like you can be.  This will impact his future interactions so remember he will learn through your actions.

  • I know it's very difficult to not lash out when you you have been hurt.  I realized, through time and the Love Dare, that this lashing out was what was driving my fiance away.  Try, if you can, to respond with love, patience, and kindness, rather than react out of fear and pain. For me, I needed to take 5 minutes, leave the room, and then come back to discuss something with him if I felt hurt by something he said - I still do.  Perhaps you can try something similar with texting.  Write down what you will text, give it some time, comeback to it with fresh eyes, and if it conveys patice, love, and kindness, then send it.

  • Jendiah, glad you found this part of the site.  Try journaling in this section.  There will be more people to respond to you.

  • Jendiah, glad you found this part of the site.  Try journaling in this section.  There will be more people to respond to you.

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