Well is a new day. And I am starting to understand why this should be one day at a time. A new day give new hope even if your bubble gets burst right away. So I wake up at 4am to listen to the dare for today (yes I have an audible book). I prayed first. I was going to listen to it at midnight because I got anxious to know what the day will bring but I stop myself after 10 seconds. Instead I went to sleep.
I am excited about today's dare because I will like to know what it is that he doesn't like or what do I do that irritates him but amazingly I have asked that to him before when we were living in the same house but he showed no interest.
Well fast forward my bubble have been burst already. I called him because I needed his ID to get our son's passport but he didn't answer. Still don't want to talk to me at all. I texted him and he sent me the pictures without saying anything else. So I don't think I will be able to ask him anything today. I will continue praying and will call him later. But I need a miracle because he never wants to talk. THERE IS NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT OR RIGHT NOW IS NOT A GOOD TIME is what he always says.
I dont get it how did we expend the weekend together and went out and everything was good but he doesn't want that to continue.
Maybe he really doesn't want to be with me anymore and is not the voice of God that I hear saying that I have to keep going.
Am I being selfish right now trying to save this marriage when it seems like he is happy where he is at now?
I will continue but right now I feel like giving up.
I do not think you are being selfish. You are honoring God by making a choice to continue trying for your marriage. Jesus gave us reasons why we could divorce but those were not commands, it was an allowance. But ultimately, it is a heart issue within us to keep moving forward and continuing to honor God by this decision to stand and fight for our marriages. Are there selfish reasons hidden behind that desire? You bet. There are in all of us. I wanted to be loved but through this journey that desire has shifted in me and I wish to love her unconditionally because I love Jesus.
Do not let his current happiness sway your decision one iota. In my past sins as well as your own satan has deceived us being helping us believe we are happy. Remember that your husband is being deceived right now and it is through your love for him and Jesus that can pull him from that ledge of eternal hopelessness.
I shared something a long time ago about this kind of deception we go through when there is something new and vibrant in our lives. It is called LIMERENCE. Trust me when I tell you that your efforts can and will make a difference in his eternal life. The average time a man or woman in these new kind of "perfect" relationships lasts in 18 to 24 months. I know you don't want to hear those numbers right now but remember to trust in our Lord and Savior. This relationship you are building with Jesus will not fade away like your husbands with the OW. Stay strong sister. You can do this with His help and guidance.
I really appreciate your comments and encouragement. This past days have been so hard but sharing through this journal and overall praying is what have help me continue. I felt alone before and like a weirdo but I know i am not alone anymore.
KC: I empathize and understand your confusion and pain. I will have great conversations with my wife. She says that divorce is not an option, we spend Christmas time together, hugged for the first time since separation; then 2 days later she goes cold and ignores my texts, calls. It is not logical and makes no sense. We are not dealing with adultery, but it is hard to hang on. ... Remember our spouses are confused and in sin, and are acting emotionally. You are not being selfish. Being ignored must be painful........... As far as Day 5 asking about what irritates them. Sending an e-mail or text may work if you can't talk in person.
ABC this is so confusing and painful. But I want to honor and obey God so I will continue. I haven't had any luck since I started. I guess the enemy is there pressing to keep us away. Is more hard because only in this forum I can express myself and say out loud that despite everything that happened between us I still love him and I believe that God can restore our marriage. Everybody else opinion is to walk away and that is what he is listening to. Anyways I look forward to day 6. I guess that even if we never go back this will make me a better person
Nothing to add that Sunny didn't mention. You are not being selfish. YOu are obeying the covenant you agreed to with Christ and him.
He is not happy, not truly. He is being deceived by evil and the flesh.
Do not worry about him not wanting to communicate. It gives you more time to pray or read the bible, and him more time to feel Christ's convictions. It also keeps the ability of you to take control from God. Because you will have the desire if he is opening to listening to you all the time right now, to try to talk him into coming back to you and he is not ready for that nor will really listen to the reasons to come back.
Do the dare, no matter if he normally does not answer. The success of the dare is you doing the dare the best you can, trusting Christ in doing it, and learning the lesson of the dare in how to love as Christ loves his church.'
Always talk in person if at all possible in doing the dares. or if the dare says to call, then call. But do not manifpulate the dare by texting or emailing. Many of us want to do that because it can get scary taling to our spouses.
He will be up and down like a roller coaster. You have experienced it. It will probably continue. When he is on the roller coaster, you lead your heart, and do not let your emotions lead you like he is doing. And stay consistent in building your testimony which he needs to see. And do this by staying in the dares.