Round 3 Day 24:

So today started off relaxed.....even with having the 4 kids at my place. I was tired because I stayed up late the night before talking with a good friend about our faith and I spent a good amount of time in prayer too. So of course, with the kids waking me up at 7:30, I was tired! Coffee does wonders though, and not too long later I was awake ;-).

We spent most of the day at the house. In the morning it was extremely hot and humid (for MN), and the kids went out to play with some neighbor kids while I got chores done. It was nice to be able to do those things in relative peace.

My dare today is to remove lust. I have already gotten a porn blocker for the laptop I currently use, but the thing that stuck out in my head from the moment I read the dare was money. I am too concerned with the future, and with how much money I will have. I need to trust Him that I will have what is needed nothing more or less. Money kept popping up as a lust issue all day.

We got everything ready for the day, and went out and found a few garage sales. The kids picked out a few toys and such. It was fun. They only broke one thing, LOL. I offered to pay for it, but was refused.

Throughout the day, I was focusing on Christ, and our love. It was great to have His peace and comfort after the day before. He truly shows me things every day, and I have to keep my eyes and ears open for Him.

At lunch, I decided to make leftovers. I was concerned that there might not be enough food, but I had more that I couldve made. As we ate, some of the kids werent as hungry, and we ended up with all of us getting full. My oldest said "This is just like the time Jesus fed all those people!" We laughed. I thanked Him. It was pretty awesome.

Contact with Emily was minimal. We talked on the phone (she wanted to know how much to sell the motorhome and the lawnmower for), and she came to drop off something for the kids. She didnt come inside, and I was busy when she came by so my oldest got it from her. The kids frustrated her though. They kept wanting to talk to and see their mom, and I was not going to hold them back from calling her. So they called her probably 10 times in the morning between the 4 of them. I am sure they tested her patience.

In the afternoon we went to church. I had asked a few people to show up with me, but they ended up being no shows. So it was just me. I got a good front row seat though, because the church was about half full. While we were singing, I thought about raising my hands in worship. I had never done this before. At the time I had a mocha in my hands (yeah our church does good!) and really couldnt, but I felt like I wanted to. Later in the evening I read an article online about loving God, and how raising your hands in worship helps the physical part of you feel love from God. I am sure I'll get over the embarassment soon. ;-)

The sermon for the day was on audacious prayers. The pastor used the book of Joshua to talk about how we should pray for the impossible. I thought that most people that know everything about my relationship with Emily would think that restoration of my marriage is IMPOSSIBLE. I dont. My God can do ALL THINGS. He can fix this. I realized my theme for the last few days is to pray. I need to pray until something happens. I need to pray for the restoration of our marriage, and for the souls of the 5 people most important to me in this world.

On the way home, we stopped at a Christian book store. Got a Jesus movie for the kids (they had been asking), the movie Flywheel, the book Redeeming Love (thanks Libby and Jenn), and my brother's birthday present. He is a married man with two kids, and has struggled with abuse and chemical addiction in and out of his marriage. So guess what I got him? Fireproof and the Love Dare. I am going to have to make a wager with him that he cant get through all 40 days though, LOL. I think if he does it though, it will work wonders in his life as it has mine.

We got back home, and our little girl fell asleep on the way. I put her in bed and fed the boys. I had made chicken in the crock pot, it was nice to have it done when we got back. They started watching the movie about Jesus. I even got emotional during it, and it was a cartoon! Had some great teaching moments with the boys.

After that, we all watched Flywheel together. They werent into it so much, but the themes on money in the movie spoke to me. I needed to ask Him how to spend the extra money I have coming to me in the next month, and I did. He will tell me how to use it.

After the kids went to bed, I thought about hopping on the computer to type this up, but it was 10 already, and I felt the need to go downstairs and call it a night (not really tired, but just felt I was being told to do so). I went down and prayed, and prayed HARD. It was my sun-stopping prayer for my marriage. The Spirit came over me and gave me words. I felt so much peace afterwards.

I read the first few chapters of Redeeming Love before I went to sleep. Wow this book really starts off hard. Since I have a little girl I can relate, and I saw what was coming, and I got angry. I wanted to stop reading, but found I couldnt for a while. I related this to Emily, and I felt for her.

The fields are ready, now I need to pray until something happens.

Jason