today started off nice, woke up, worked, etc.
I was to pick up the kids today.
For some reason heading over there from work, I started to get real
anxious. I am not sure why, maybe the
after effects of the strong weekend? So
I stopped at a park on the way and took a few minutes out to pray on it and ask
the Lord to fill me with the spirit before stopping at the house.
into the driveway and one of Emily’s friends (the mormon wife who recommended
my counselor to me) was there dropping off our daughter. She just told me some small things about baby
girl and left. I saw the boys come home,
and Emily’s brother came out. He’s a
nice enough guy, and has always gotten along OK with me (a bit younger though,
22 or 23). Even though the van was in
the driveway Emily wasn’t home. So I
loaded up all the kids into the car, and chatted with her brother for a minute,
even gave him my phone number if he wanted to hang out. I told him that I have Christ in my life now,
and that has been what keeps me going good.
way home, my oldest told me about a choir concert he was having that
night. I wish sometimes I would get more
notice for things, but it seemed that Emily didn’t remember it either. So when we got home I told him he could call
his mom if he so wished. I made dinner,
we ate, and the boys got their homework done.
I took some time to write up my letter for my dare, prayed on it, and
put it in my car.
concert was really nice. Emily and her
brother showed up and it was nice to see Emily smile and laugh like she
did. We shared a few glances with each other.
the concert, she came out to help me load up the kids. We got them loaded up and our oldest asked if
he could stay with her. I told her I had
no problem with it at all. Emily said
that she wanted to be kid-free tonight and just rest to him and I. My oldest got real upset at this. He was complaining about he way he sleeps at
my house and would rather get a good nights rest. Emily was steadfast in refusing him and
started to get upset. He stayed in my
car and we went home. Emily did not say
anything about noticing the letter in my car at all, so I don’t even know if
she saw it.
got home he called his mother immediately.
He started asking again to come over.
She told him at that point she wasn’t home. He got upset, and let her go. He started getting very angry because he
thought she lied to him. I spent the
rest of the next hour or so trying to calm him and teach the children a bit
about forgiveness. I told them that it
is our duty to forgive when we think someone did something to us that hurt us,
no matter if that person realizes it or not.
I told them it is not the other person that hurts by us not forgiving
but us, and that Christ loves us enough to forgive so we must forgive as well. I was very cautious not to pull Emily’s name
into any of it because the kids need to honor their mother as well.
put them down, our oldest started crying.
I went in and hugged him and he told me through the tears that he loves
me but misses mom. He asked to call
her. I gave him the phone and he
did. Emily didn’t talk to him long and
the phone came to me. She said she couldn’t
understand him, and that earlier she had just stopped at the grocery store on
the way home. He kept crying for a bit,
and she started to get angry at me. I
stayed calm. I said a quick prayer
during all this too. She was saying
things like that she is going to come pick him up but take all 4 if she
comes. She was telling me that she lets
me have my children (like it’s a privilege I get to see them). In not so many words, accusing me of being a
bad parent. I didn’t respond to a lot of
it and just stayed quiet. I did tell her
to do what she feels she needs to do, and that we would be fine. The conversation ended by us talking about
what she was about to have for dinner and I wished her a good night.
kids went to bed, and I stayed up and read the bible and my other book. Made it through 2 Cor. At about 10:30, I looked at the letter on
the table that I wrote. I felt prompting
to write another one. The first one I
had written was on nice writing paper, with a fine black writing pen and in
cursive, similar to other letters I wrote for the first 40 days. This time, I felt prompting to just use a
page out of my notebook and use a regular old pen. The words were coming into my head so fast I couldn’t
write them all down! I knew I was filled! I couldn’t even keep track of where the
letter was going in content or anything while I was writing, it felt like
random sentences on a page.
got done, it was one page long. I read
it. The darned thing made a lot of
sense! It captured every point in the
dare, and some other nuggets of truth as well.
I felt the prompt to place it in the kids overnight bag, and so I
did. I then felt that the previous
letter I wrote should be thrown away, so I did that too. I praised and thanked Him for the next 15
minutes for giving me the dare like that.
dropped off the kids this morning at 6:30.
When I got back home, she called a few minutes later. I prayed on answering and was told no. So I let the phone ring. I am curious to if she had called about the
letter or what.
morning we had a conference for our autistic son. It lasted quite a while (2 hours), and after
we walked out of the building together.
Emily still said nothing about the letter. During the conference I had mentioned that I
had the day off, and Emily had said “It must be nice”, with a sarcastic tone
(remember, she is a stay at home mom).
My son’s teacher reminded her to be nice. Of course, I just held my tongue.
So I got the dare done for yesterday and I am withstanding
her venom. Still being kind and loving
to her. I am relying on the Rock, and I
am being the rock for her.
I have tried to upload this a few times, I hope it works.
It will get worse. The more your comfort and calmness comes out.... It will irritate her. She will believe that you should be as miserable as she is, and it will not be fair in her mind. Especially thinking that you should have always been this way even when you were with her.
But this is your testimony in Christ. And there will be a breaking point. So remember, she is going to try to get a response out of you. This is what she will need to continue to justify what she is doing.