Day 74: Patience
So I saw Sean’s response this morning to my day 73. How is it, that so many times, I read his responses to my post and I think “wow that’s what God was trying to show me yesterday!” I am glad you are back Sean, all of us on here have missed you.
So yesterday started off with a couple surprises I just had to thank the Lord for. Money for us has been tight, and the day before I looked at the bills and how much I expected to get paid, and the numbers didn’t really add up well. Less money coming in than going out type thing. I prayed for His guidance on it. So when I came in, knowing about me being forced to go on rotating shift, I told my boss I could go on at any time, even next week (it would give me a bit of overtime then which would help). As soon as I got done saying that, I turned around and saw I was scheduled for overtime next week! Someone had turned down the shift they had gotten, and it came to me! Doing the math to figure out what the check would be, all the bills will be paid, Emily will get what she needs to live off of, and I might end up with a little extra! Thank you sweet Jesus!
Later on that day, I talked with a few people about being put on this rotating shift. My boss told me the latest he was thinking I would be put on it would be the end of May. Well I found out from him that because of some work/union issues, it might be a couple months before I get put on it. So I don’t have to worry so quickly about trying to get a visitation schedule down with Emily, which is nice.
At counseling, I shared my past week with my counselor. I waste a lot of “counseling time” (usually up to a half an hour) telling her about my previous week and the things God has done that I have noticed. I even brought in my cd and sang that song for her too. It was a good session, and we talked about the kids and better ways for me to deal with their conflicts and when they act up (which I needed because with 4 of them and just me I tend to get a bit stressed out at times).
After counseling I went and worked out. Got done at 7. No dinner yet. I asked if I should get some fast food and was told no, so I went to walmart to get some things for the kids this weekend and went home. I made myself some quick dinner and prayed a little bit. I asked if I should call Emily like I do to say goodnight to the kids. I got back confusion and noise, so I took it as a no. I felt I needed to go get some gas for the car so I went and did that and came back home. I did some dishes, got into my PJ’s, put the radio on.
I felt the need to read the bible, a strong need. So I turned off the radio, and got into the book. A few pages in, I asked again if I should call Emily. I had some more confusion, then about 30 seconds later, my head cleared and I was told to call. I called and no answer. I then felt strongly convicted that I haven’t been focusing enough on Christ over the past few days and I have been focusing on my wife more. I prayed for forgiveness and asked for help with it. I got back into the book and read through Romans. At the end of reading I was tired, so I got ready and went to bed.
The dare today was to congratulate her on something she has done recently that shows a Christian way. God took this one away from me for me to work with Him. I needed that more than to do the dare. It doesn’t scare me that I didn’t complete the dare though, because I know He has things planned out (I would worry soooo much about getting it done out of fear of losing my wife). Either the dare will be completed on a different day, or it’s simply one that gets skipped. I thought a bit about that maybe there is nothing to congratulate her on at the moment. I am sure I could find something, but I feel she is far from Christ right now. All I know, is that God is working with my wife when I am not with her in His way.
Today will be my last update until Monday, and I cant wait to fill you all in on how this weekend turns out. I am sure I will have some great stories to tell!
Jason
Really good to see you truly seeking Christ for direction even in the smallest of things - buying food, calling Emily, etc. I sometimes feel silly asking about even if I can just get a coffee (I lovecoffee!), but it is important to because we are wanting to be obedient especially during this time financially, so they are sacrifices we are making for God's work. You know in the end it is going to be well worth it and all is going to work out. Praise God you recognize that confusion/noise does not mean yes or you worry you aren't hearing Him and just do what you want. You KNOW God was speaking through the Kendricks when they wrote Patience as the first dare. LoL.
Looking forward to hearing how this weekend/the concert goes.
You do not need to read my responses for that ah ha moment. If you seek you shall find! And seeking His wisdom in each and every moment in our lives is tough, but it comes with seeking Him for answers. He will always bless you with that if you want it.
And as for skipping the dare. This dare is an important one. Your testimony to her over the period of the journey allows you to show her you seek out Christ like things even in her.
Sean,
I agree I do not need to, but your insight is so nice to have. Sometimes it is completely different from what I was thinking about the previous day. Its good to have that different perspective.
Maybe I was looking at the dare to look for new things that are Christ like in her. I dont want to start becoming a broken record to her, but I know she always cares for her friends and family and does what she can to please them. She sacrifices her life at times for her family and friends, and that love is what speaks to me the most. In fact, that is one of the big reasons why I love her.