So the day started off good at work. I kind of like being back to work, it keeps me busy during the day. I called Emily during lunch to make sure I could still come over to print off and send in state taxes (we owe, so I am waiting till the last minute). She said sure. The last part of my day my pastor called me at work and we talked about me taking the oath and signing the resolution (from the movie Courageous, I seriously owe one heck of a thank you letter to the Kendricks).
So I went over to the house, and Emily said she wanted to watch me print off the taxes because she didn’t trust me on the computer (she thinks I would snoop around for stuff). I said fine. We chatted a little bit while I was working and at during one point I was staring into her eyes. She questioned me about it and I told her that they look a little different, but I think they are still beautiful.
As she was coming to the desk to sign the documents I printed, she poked me with the pen, as a playful, flirty thing. Then she noticed my twist tie wedding ring (I think I explained it in an earlier post) and asked me what it was all about. I told her that I am still married, and its my way of telling the world that I am unavailable since I don’t have my wedding ring. She didn’t say much but portrayed a combination of “that’s pathetic” and “I think it’s cute, thank you” at the same time. She also caught me looking at her while she stood in the doorway. She told me to stop staring at her body (in a playful manner), and I said I was only looking a little.
So since it was my second oldest son’s birthday, I took the younger two to my place for a little while. We agreed to change out kids at the gym so I could take the older two swimming. When we met up in the parking lot, she was again bumping into me, and making sure she was touching me a little bit. Just small brushing touches, but I noticed. I took no action on them this time. The boys had mentioned that they had some cake that Emily made, and I told Emily that I would love some cake. She said “Only if you are a good boy.” And of course my response was, “I am a good boy.” Good old playful flirting, I love it. She left with the younger two and I took the older two swimming.
After swimming I dropped off the older two. I came to the door thinking maybe I’d get some cake (she makes really good cakes!). At the door, my youngest and my oldest both expressed how much they missed me and that they wanted to stay with me for the night. I told them that they would be with me tomorrow and kissed and hugged them goodnight. Then I noticed the OM sitting on the couch. I looked at him, he did not look at me. It seemed like he was scared to look over. Emily noticed I saw him, got in a panic, and quickly said goodbye to me and shut the door. I did not show any upset emotions as far as I know. In fact, I was in a pretty good mood!
On the way home, a wave of confidence splashed over me. This guy is scared of me, I thought. I thanked Jesus for my new confidence.
I went to the store and prayed on getting the new Casting Crowns CD. I am going to the concert on Saturday up here, and I am also singing in my best friends wedding. The answer I got back was if its related to the wedding. I found the CD, looked on the back, and behold, there is a song that has wedding in the title. So I bought it, and the song “Angel” was presented to me. I am SO singing this song for my buddys wedding! Well I told them they should decide, but that I am STRONGLY recommending the song. I sang it for a female friend of mine later that night, and she was amazed, so I hope I do good!
As far as the dare goes, I know throughout the day I showed Emily that our relationship is the most important human relationship I have (especially the talking about the “ring”). The “leaving” issues weren’t really presented to me as a problem I have. I know my family has been encouraging me to move on, and I am being strong in resisting them, but that is not something I needed to confess to Emily as something I have done wrong.
It it crazy or what!!!
I am totalli inlove with the Casting Crown Band.
I have that very same CD and do I love that song as well. The words to their songs has carried me thru the most difficult times on this journey and I think God is using them in a way that is just sooooo AWSOME!!
Hang in there and keep fighting this good fight. There will be so many things we learn about ourselves and about what God's will is for our lives that will be so mind blowing. This is truely a journey to get to know God on such a deep and personal level and being a testimony to our spouses is almost just an added bonus.
God works miracles in our lives daily, we just need to focus on Him and surely He reveals Himself in ways and places we could never even imagine.
I will keep you and Emily in my prayer and I know soon your kids will have the love and sercurity that can come from God alone.
I love this...OM is convicted himself. The dude is at your wife's home. He best NOT look you in the eye! LOL
wow is all I can say.