So I started off the day at 5am since I had a few of the kids stay the night. I read my dare first thing in the morning, and looking at my schedule (left the house at 6:20am and got back after midnight), could not find much of a place to fit it in. So, I did my morning prayer in the shower and decided to do my dare before I left to drop the kids off. I had written this letter in a similar fashion to my confession letter (nice writing paper, using cursive, and tying a red ribbon around it). I had originally thought of leaving it in the mailbox since I don't enter my home, but then decided to leave it in the kids' overnight bag since Emily would be the one to unpack it.
So I had a weak moment at work and texted Emily when she met the OM. I knew they had started dating the week I moved out, but wasnt sure of when they met. I was hoping to be able to minimize the significance of their relationship inside my own head, which isnt good because I need to leave that to God. She was very apprehensive in her text, but had told me she met him the same week I left. She also sent me a text asking me to let go of her and I. I responded with that right now I am being told by God I need to stand in the gap, that I will love her unconditionally until I die, and I am learning how to be the husband I should have been. I told her I am learning how to do this by loving her. We had a small amount of texts back and forth but nothing big.
Later, after I got out of counseling (which went pretty good) I decided to text Emily and tell her that if offered a promotion I had applied for at work I would turn it down. She asked why. I told her that the trade off just doesnt seem worth it. That its longer hours for not much of a pay increase and for what? I'd rather do what I do now the rest of my life and be a loving husband to someone and help my kids turn towards God. As a man I'm supposed to be the spiritual leader of my home. If I can ensure my wife and kids eternal salvation, what greater accomplishment in life is there?
She replied with "Who are you?"
That felt really awesome! I knew she saw the changes, but now I feel she sees me on a different level than before I started the dare. I am definetly continuing with the dare.
On a side note, I auditioned for my church's band as a backup singer and made it through the first one. I have one more to go. Our church's band is like an adult contemporary christian band that covers alot of the hits on christian radio today, and they are pretty darned professional, so that was a big boost. I told a few friends about it, but if I make it past the second audition I think I will just surprise Emily by showing up on stage. We had talked about me doing this for a few years and I think she would be pretty proud of me.
Amen!!!!! She is seeing the changes - god is working thru you.. Keep the faith and keep going.
Being the testimony each day is what will convict her heart as Christ works on her. When you have those thoughts and concerns about the OM just turn it to Christ. He wants you to depend on Him for your protection.