Collaborate without boundaries

Day 28R8 Insights

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I'm not keeping perfect track of the LDs but the heart of the dares is what I am working at living.

Love believes the best. I have chosen Love over condemnation and I will walk in forgiveness seeking opportunity to reconcile with both my wife, daughters and my home assembly.

Well the Lord has been working on me the area of taking captive every thought. It is a process. I tend to try to figure out every little detail of every action or inaction that I come across which turns to speculation and assumption. This used to make sleep difficult and drive my anxiety through the proverbial roof. Asking God for relief has been a mainstay and the new lesson in captive thoughts is making it difficult to sleep again. The remedy is simple more time in the word, more time in prayer, living deeper in surrender trusting him with the details and learning to live happily looking into his face through the trial. Sounds easy but with the world pushing me to try to force MH’s hand, the devil scratching at the window panes, and the unknown…it’s not.

I do have a neat little encouragement from the Lord. At our first meeting earlier in the year MH’s dad said “you have destroyed your reputation, and it could take a lifetime to rebuild” that may be so but the only people that see my reputation as destroyed are MH, and her friends and family. My reputation has grown stronger with everyone else in the community.

The other thing that I was shown was that, it isn’t about me anymore. It is about their unwillingness to stop holding my past against me. MH and her family need to keep me as the bad guy in order to justify MH’s desire to stay separated…un-reconciled…if she needs more time they should be honest and tell me. I have no pride left, nothing to hold up, I can and will wait.

 I was given insight into some of my past recently. I have too many hobbies. I have in the past left MH feeling abandoned by doing things on my own, having my own friends, and activities that I don’t involve my family in. I also added to that books, movies and video games that don’t lend to Phil. 4:8 life that MH wanted our children brought up in. When I look at it like that I see the trend of the past “16” years. I feel the burden, heavy and lonely, on her shoulders. It’s a long hard road that she walked alone, I just hope that I can carry it with her again some day.

I will be posting more regularly again, not every day, but often.

  • I can very much relate to your reputation story. I have become a pillar in the community but my my ex and her family still view me as a demon. Jesus says we will be persecuted. It's hard to swallow when it's the people you love the most doing the persecuting. Like you, I realize this is not about me. I realize this is about making a way to glorify God.

    The insight into your past can be used to your advantage but its your past. Learn from it and don't dwell on it. You can't change it. Give Jesus the burden. His yoke is light!!!

  • I spend a great deal of time in prayer. It's the only way to live.

  • Where you worry the most is where you trust God the least.  

    i think of this now and then when i go to bed, it's what i think Bret said.  Something like okay God, i give you all the problems to handle while I go to sleep tonight.  

    Good insights you have here.

  • Your post is coming throuogh with a smaller font and in black lettering.  Do you have a harder time reading this journal entry?  

    This isn't me complaining.  

    I appreicate this site but the red/maroon, and yellow colors make reading the site at times hard.

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