Collaborate without boundaries

R8...Reflections day 24

  • Comments 4

During this 8th round in the dares I have come to the conclusion my marriage needed to die. Now don’t take this as if I have given up. The first relationship I had with MH was not built on the love found in the surrender and sacrifice that God requires from us even to love our neighbors. No it lacked the truthfulness and faithfulness of Jesus death on the cross in my life. Lust can hid in the form of everyday objects and everyday thoughts, it must be killed, and buried with the old self. As they say in the book “…every lie you swallowed in pursuing pleasure…” every thought must be held captive, surrendered to the foot of the cross, sifted and picked clean of self. Ultimately the story is about Him and his glory. MH and I need a new relationship built on the foundational love expressed by the God through Jesus death on the cross. The gospel itself. The love of God to sinful man, the sacrifice, the forgiveness, the mutual surrender to God in all things, and a united heart to follow him.

MH is starting to move things from our home to her mom and dad’s house. It hurts. She asked me to bring some kitchen things to her at visits. I haven’t been in this situation yet, but I don’t feel comfortable with helping her move out, I don’t want to help widen the gap.

On a lighter note I saw her face on Thanksgiving Day, my sister lives next door and as MH left I saw her drive by, she didn’t look at me. I was so thankful that I got to see her though. I had a great time with my nieces and nephews. My sister has 9.

  • Congrats on the 9.  

    We learn to be kind in the dares.  And to show kindness in fulfilling our spouses requests.  So, it is tough to say No, I will not help you further separate.  May God lead you in the right direction in this (as well as all areas).  

  • when things were really rough, hearing her say by in such a whisper it was almost inaudible as she headed out for the night sent me to cloud nine.  I can't imagine how tough it can get not seeing her at all.  But the good in that is she is getting plenty of space and plenty of time alone with God to work in her.  

    That's terrific you've been so patient.  Keep being still.....

  • I understand what you're saying, the marriage must die.  I prefer the marriage must be reborn.  LOL.  

  • It took me a long time to come to the same conclusion that my marriage had to die. Like you, I don't want anyone to think I've given up because I haven't, but I think she needed to be the prodigal son and I needed to be Job. I don't for one second believe God willed or wanted the marriage to end but her free will has brought us here and now God is working on both of us in His time. I can't say what will happen but I can say that I will continue to draw closer to Him and maybe someday I can let go of the pain I feel and be able to say I am a model Christian. I've still got a long way to go. I do know if the marriage had continued I would likely still be leading the same sinful hell-bound life I was living. Now I know I am saved and I act like it. I have flaws and now it's a lifetime journey to perfect myself as Christ calls me to. I can just pray that He does the same for her and she will eventually accept Him.

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