Collaborate without boundaries

Dare 33R3 Love Completes Each Other

  • Comments 5

I was able to do this dare, I was emailing MH about a cell phone/email issue.

Thinking about it, I walked all over MH in decision making and just imposed my will. When you take one the life of another in marriage you are taking on another mind, another person, one that has desires and plans and hopes. When we forcefully impose our will, even if it isn't physically, we tear down the other and make them feel used. I know I did this to MH. I confess it as sin be for God and repent of it. The other day I started fixing up our living room paint a new area rug and a piece of art that a friend gave me recently. After looking at the finished product with a sense of accomplishment, I noted that it is empty, hollow, unfulfilling. God intended us to fulfill each other's needs and desires, hopes, when we don't we kill the other person, steeling their joy and hopes using them for our own fulfillment. How do we fix this? We fulfill God's desire for our lives, his hopes for our joy, by doing his will. His will? To love unconditionaly, sacrificing or hopes and dreams for the reality of his work, end, and eternity.

Don't loose hope, God loves you, when he is for you who can be against you.

  • When you do big things like this, do you ask her what color paint she'd recommend, or see if she would like an area rug or would want to pick it out, or if this likes the one you picked out?

    If you ask her these things it may seem like it's going over a dare a day.  but it also is showing unity and that you appreciate her thoughts, and it is also letting the other  win.  

  • My biggest problem was doing things without consulting her at all. I would spend a thousand dollars on renovations without her knowledge until she saw the final product. I honestly never thought it was a problem because I was doing it for both of us. The problem with that is only my input went into it. It was like her opinion didn't even matter. I imagine a lot f people are like this because they just don't think about it, like I didn't think about it. I found out the hardest way of all that her opinion matters the most.

  • I fall into the same camp. I am doing all kinds of work around the house trying to fix it up. I consult her on things when i can now though. It is not the easiest to do though. The one thing that is playing in my favor is a lot of the work I am doing involves things we already picked out together.

    It puts you in a hard place, it really does.

    As Tim said, you want to show unity. Just ask the opinion.

    Something like, "Hey, I got this picture from XXXX, do you think it would look better on the wall with the window or the one with the clock?

  • Speaking of empty though, I can't even use my living room anymore. She has all the things that made the house feel like home in boxes in there. Just stacked up taking up space. It is all kinds of depressing.

  • I actually just asked her a question about something. I am looking at replacing the flush lights in the halls. So I sent her a picture of them and said

    "Do you like these? I was thinking of switching them out with the old ones in the halls. I think it may brighten the house up."

    Now we wait for the response.

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