Collaborate without boundaries

Dare 6R2

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Todays dare I can't really do on MH so I am making changes to my life to make taking time with my family easier and give us more time with them when we are back together. So I didn't send a message to her today.

I had a talk with the head elder today. One of the accusations against me was that I "made kids watch porn with me" well that is why DHHS got involved. Funny though the Lord gave me a possible reason for that accosation I watched Bourne Identity with my oldest. Funny how when you say Bourne fast it sounds a lot like porn. I had a great laugh and spent time thanking God for the humor of it. I let him in on it and we had a really good talk, he gave me some good things to think about and heard me out, he also said he spoke to MH and she is still hoping for restoration. I almost cried. she just doesn't know how much I have changed. I think he may be seeing change in me. I know I have been changed by my savior. He is going to speak to the other elder and MH, I don't know what about and nothing definite but I am blessed to hear that she is looking forward to getting back together.

After our talk I finished mowing. I love mowing it gives me time to think and pray and I get something done at the same time. So overall a great day. Yesterday was the first day I didn't have chest pain and today, due to mowing, I had some.

  • Sounds like things are changing. Keep looking to CHRIST and pressing into his grace. Before you know it your family will be whole again. In the meantime go ahead and claim victory. Walk in victory. WE ARE VICTORIOUS!!

  • Some of the best in Christ had crazy accusations/things said about them/things done to them.  You are in good company.  the truth will come out I am sure.  The accusations will fade.  Christ's light is being seen in you.  I bet just the way you hold yourself, the tone in your voice, your demeanor reflects Christ more so now.

    Your wife may not see it but she I am sure hears of it.

  • Thank God  for the restoration your wife is wanting.  Part of me wonders if the elders/church are holding her back from restoration.  Pray the church sees the truth/Christ in you.  But just know, as you do, that God is using all of this for good since you love Him.

  • I am no doctor or health expert, but chest pains from mowing?   I would certainly think you need to get that  checked out.  If you haven't already.

    I understand the chest pains coming from stress and how yesterday you didn't have the pain due to finding peace in God.  but pain from exertion is certainly another matter.  

    Get checked out and let us know.  Otherwise if you stop journaling we will all wonder what happened to you.  

  • I'm happy you heard she's open to reconciling.  enjoy that thought and  let  God know you know  it is  only because of Him and that  you enjoy Him  so much more that the thought of her coming back.  And your girls will come back when she does.  What joy that will be.

  • Accusations mean nothing. (I'm saying that for myself as much as anyone else.) When CPS (DHHS) took our kids away two years ago they took my then 9 year old for a forensic exam because there were accusations that I had been sexually abusing my girls. It made me literally sick to my stomach and I almost couldn't handle it. Such a false accusation is nearly unbearable. I even followed them to the place they took her and took pictures. In the end the results came back saying she had never been abused. I was relieved but still angry because of what she had to go through. The same thing happened to my sister a few years ago and my niece and nephew had to go through those sexual exams. My sister was innocent and it was proven so but the kids were damaged.

    Now my wife is saying I physically abused her. More false accusations. It is very hard to deal with. All we can do is know we are innocent and know that God is the only person that truly knows our hearts. Whatever man does to us will not carry over into our eternal life with our creator. He, alone, has authority over us. We must not worry ourselves about these accusations.

    Maybe God is using the elders to slow down the reconciliation to make sure you and her are ready. My biggest fear is that I will go back to my old ways once this trial ends. Be very conscience of that and stay true to what you have learned in the past few months.

    Definitely go to the doctor!!!

  • I have anemia and it takes my breath (not enough iron in the blood, not enough oxigen to your organs) but stress brought it to a head.

    I don't think the leaders are doing that MH may be doing it in fear that I haven't really changed. Or her dad may be counseling her it hold back. Ether way God is in control, and I trust him with the outcome ,come what may.

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