Collaborate without boundaries

Dare 27

  • Comments 6

I do have expectations of my wife, I still do. I need to let go of my expectations and let God do the expecting. I need to go back and read Love Believes the Best. It's hard when you don't know anything about what's going on and the group of people you love are shunning you. I don't know what to do, other than stand and wait on the Lord. I guess I could reach out and try to contact the elders of the assembly and see what is going on, but that would just confirm to them that I am still unrepentant. 

Just got back from visiting my girls, after the visit I asked them what we could do do build some trust, they said nothing, they made the desision to not like visiting with me and that there is nothing I can do to make it better. I haven't felt so defeated in a long time. My father in law was there and called my down for saying that was unacceptable, and told me that I need to look at 1 Cor 2 and "if I can understand it, maybe I can know how to start fixing things with my family." They are grasping at straws to justify what they are doing, they have to keep believing I am a scumbag to justify there actions, and they are using the Bible to hold it up.

Well back again, went out to eat with my dad at a Cuban friend's restaurant, some wonderful believers, and had a good time talking about the Lord and his strength and provision, still not an easy day. God has been so good to me, giving me great people to hang with and pray with me in this struggle

  • Having expectations leads to disappointment and hurt.  And if your spouse does something with kindness, well, you weren't expecting it and that's okay, but it can lead you to enjoy the moment and to letting God you enjoy and appreciate Him all the more.

    Did your father in law say this in front of your daughters?  If so, consider saying something to him now or next time he says something negatively about you in front of the girls.  Let him know you can handle whatever he throws at you, but it is not right to harm the daughters by demeaning either parent.  This will further put him off.  But, consider doing this.  You would not be defending yourself , but your children.  If you do say something say it humbly and with kindness, showing no pride.  

    It is good to be around true believers.    

  • I sure think God is not pleased when people use His word for their prideful and ungodly benefit.  i would consider it mocking God.

  • Remember what you said, he is attacking Jesus, not you.  Forgive him and pray for him.  Like you have.  

  • Remember what you said, he is attacking Jesus, not you.  Forgive him and pray for him.  Like you have.  

  • Yes, he did say these thing infront of them. I hold no ill will toward him, by the grace of God. I do hurt miserably though.

  • I have the same fears as you. I expect others to do certain things. I expect my wife to understand the gospel as I have. I expect her to get baptized and start living according to the word of God. These expectations are beyond my control and only bring me heartache. I work past them but getting rid of them is near impossible. I too know that I need to give these expectations to God and let Him handle them but the struggle is never ending because of my love for my wife.

    It's great that you can be surrounded by believers. On the other hand  I'm sorry but a true believer will not support divorce. You father-in-law is wrong. He should be supporting your marriage especially for the sake of his grandchildren. If you and your wife are truly repentant there should be no person standing in the way of your reconciliation. All you can do is continue to live the way the Bible says, no matter what lies in your past. The past was buried with Christ. I struggle with my father-in-law too (my wife's step-father.) However, I know he is a non-believer because he says so. So his support of my wife is very detrimental to her and his grandchildren. He says I am using the Bible as a weapon. Its hurtful but all I can do is what I've told you, live according to God's word and let God work it out in the end.

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