Collaborate without boundaries

Dare 8

  • Comments 9

Hi. I've never  done this before so here goes,

Dare 8, I am turning the dares into prayers as I have no contact with my wife.  been living separated since the 14th of January and still haven't found out what my wife has in mind. Our church has shunned me another don't know where they or my wife stands in the situation, I do know this I was in sin and needed a wake up call from the Lord, well I got it. My wife did not come home and I have spoken to her 4 times in the past 41/2 months, she answers emails concerning money and visits with our children. As of 2 months ago she did not want divorce (third party) but as here family (90%)of the church we go to and leaders in it I don't know what to think. I started the love dare a month ago and stopped at dare 20 and have started over. I love my wife, and I love my God, he has taken me and started making me His. I am standing in the light of my risen savior and loving the direction of the love dares. Please pray with me that the Lord will make me the vessel that He wants to use in this situation for His glory. 

  • I'm glad you came to this part of the site.  

    This time, do not quit the dares.  Most of us I am sure felt like it was God that led us to do the dares.  And if this is the case, quiting the dares is like quitting on Christ.

    It does get tough to do the dares when there is no contact.  But the good part of that is that you must depend on God even more so, and seek Him to open the door so you can do a dare a day.  You may have to get creative to complete the dares.  And even if the dares aren't received, as long as you did your best, consider the dare complete.

  • If you can't truly think of a way to do a dare or see no opening to complete the dare, then yes, turn the dare into prayer.  But do not become stuck in the pattern of assuming each day all you can do is pray the dare.  

    Somehow, God often opens the  door for a dare to be completed.  

    In all of this, remember God  is never late.  All in His timing.

  • If you are shunned and unable to go to your church, then find another church to go to for now.  

    It is tough I am sure not to have contact for  so long.  but let God fill all your voids.  

  • Thank you, I have sent going to church with my parents but it's not the same, I Have been going there for the last 11 years and love the people there and the men who lead.

    There is no contact at all with my wife. She makes all effort to avoid me completely though we are only separated, all I can do is pray.

  • Josh, why are you shunned? The church should not shun you. Or your wife. Especially if you have repented. The church of all people should express love. In my situation my wife has stopped going to church and lied about abuse to get the kids taken from me. She won't even allow them to go to church but the church still shows her love and will welcome her back in a heartbeat if she repents. I attend church every Sunday and Wednesday night. Everyone feels bad for me and asks me how I'm doing constantly but all they can do is pray for my family and love us all. It seems to me that our church actually should shun my wife and praise me but they don't because that would not be love. The church should not take sides.

    I have had no communication with my wife in a few months also. In my case everything I say or do is used against me in court so I have ceased communication to protect myself. I was even accused of using Bible quotes as harassment.

    I too was in sin and received a huge wake-up call. Well I'm awake and now my faith is unwavering. I still make mistakes but I try my best to do everything according to Gods word.

    You have my prayers. Every night at 9pm EST I pray for everyone on this site.

  • Josh, did you make the lists as the dares indicated?  Did you burn a list?  Or are you only praying about the dares?  

    So if you don't see her, on the dares it says to say something to her, do you attempt a call?  Even if she doesn't answer you can leave a voice mail.

    MOst all dares are to be attempted in person first, if not that a call, if that's not possible, a text or email.  

    For the times you are to buy her a gift could you not send a gift card?  For the times you are to do somethign for her, could you not vaccuum the house or dust or wash the windows or something like that that she may normally do but you would not?

    There are ways to do some dares even if you do not see her.  

  • They believe lies about me and have put me at the last part of Matt 18 and are treating me like a heathen.

    Because of problems in my past with my wife, they are saying that I never really repented.

    But God is faithful and I lean on his grace and am seeking Him, so no worries. It does hurt though.

  • The parable at the end of Matthew 18 teaches that forgiveness is absolutely required by God if someone repents. Verse 22 of chapter 18 says we are to forgive seventy times seven which means every single time. Verse 35 says that God will punish those who do not forgive. Your church cannot refuse to forgive you if they actually follow the Bible. If you have truly repented then you are right with God and that is all that matters.

  • Thanks Eddie you are right but if they don't see it that way I'm still right were I started. I have a great group of believers that I hang out with, I just miss the church family that is made up of my family.

    something that the Lord let me understand is He pulled me out of that situation because they think I am such a good manipulator and lie so well that no one can believe anything I say that if I was under that scrutiny even if I was growing in the Lord by leaps and bounds they wouldn't believe it. so he saved me from that and has me right were He wants me.

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