Collaborate without boundaries

Let's give it a go

  • Comments 4

New here. Not sure how this works. I have been w Hubby for 16 years. I am beginning to realize I don't know him. We have 3 kids range from 4 to 10.. This past year everything went sideways. I searched for help and found counseling which has led me to this book. Our story is military, rebellion, counsel, death, unfaithfulness, tolerance, understanding, growth, suicide attempt and now self love. I lost sight of my goals; personal and marriage. This has been my path over the years. I have a lot of resentment and have been on path to betterment; strongly for a year now. I try so hard to control and keep all of us OK, I hadn't realized how much of me I lost. Change focus and the game changed. I still love my husband but not sure if my love is enough for us to rekindle what once was. I am looking for support, friends and shared tears, experiences and ultimately to grow more. I have just begun my journey and I am advised not to count it as a sure thing but again to better me; to become what I want and need by example he too shall learn. I know I have a hand in where I am but extremist on the other makes for a lot of unsettling. Thus far I have made it to Day 5. It has been a rocky road to get this far and has started arguments because I have changed my direction and reactions. I have read some but how do you keep going when you get blatant disregard to attempts!? I need strength.

-J

  • Welcome.  look at the dares as a journey between you and Christ, not you and your husband.  He will be used as a tool to mold you.  Do a dare a day, no more, no less. do not manipulate the dares to make them easier.   Do not read ahead in the book other than the appendix, especially about leading the heart.  Have no expectations when you do a dare.  As you may have seen, it gets worse before it gets better.  but this serves purpose.  

    You mentioned you try so hard to control.  As you do the dares to grow in Christ, you will see that really, the control is in His hands.  Where it should be.  Because so often it is us and our ways and us trying to control things that got us here.  

  • We all get especially in the beginning blaant disregard or worse in our attempts.  Thus, have no expectations.  When you are looking for reactions it is you (all of us) looking for comfort from our spouse.  Right now, seek comfort only from Christ.  

  • Welcome.  Please keep the journey dares going.  Do it more than once.  You will be different on the other end believe me.

    Follow what Tim wrote.

    Good Luck.

  • Very similar boat. I've lost sight of everything. Questioned my faith. I'm trying to get God back in my life and hoping everything will fall into place. I love my husband. Things have been bad for us for about 3 years. We have two kids; 5 & 7. That is why we are still together.  For now.. that's the scary part..

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