Today was a complete disaster! Last night I met up with my fiance. When we first saw one another we hugged for a very long time, we both had endowed our hug with a different meaning. Throughout the hug he kept telling me that he loves me and that I'm...

Day 19… still doing the dares Ok so for the past few days Ive not been able to journal because it kept deleting my posts. So for a quick update, Day 17 He said he wants nothing to do with relationship anymore. Day 18we met up. I asked if he could see...

Day 21… I didn’t expect this Today, my day started off not so well. I had a bad dream about my ex and it really hurt. I spent some time in prayer then realized that I need to read my dare for the day and spend proper time with the Lord. Once I got my...

Day 26… The truth shall set me free Ok so I had major reservations with this dare, I did not want to tell him that I was sorry and that I ask that he may forgive me. However after spending sometime thinking, praying and reading over other peoples dares...

I am really struggling with posting my entries daily, the site is killing me here (sad face…). Anyway to today my dare was done without me even having read the dare. I spent the day with one of my close friends, I wanted to be with Ara but I chose...

Frday Yesterday could’ve easily been a tough day but the Lord kePT me and gave me peace throughout the day, even when the venom came in every direction. I woke up to a voice note from Ara saying that he has done everything he could to stand for...

I need to be very honest with everybody here. I do not feel like I am where I should be in terms of leaving everything to God. He put up a status asking somebody to ‘marry’ him and I went crazy. I did not go off at him but he sensed that something...

For as long as the Lord wants me to do this I am willing. Today Jesus gave me new hope through a friend of mine. We sat and prayed for a long time, then we took a moment and juststarted talking about how things are going. I asked Jesus if I could tell...

Somebody, anybody please tell me WHY AM I DOING THIS? Why am I hoping to get back into a relationship with a guy that justifies his cheating by saying, 'í need an outlet". Why am I doing this? I cant stop crying, I'm so depressed,...

Day 24...LET IT ALL GO Last night I broke down to the ground. I was ironically on the bathroom floor crying so hard, I spent about 30 minutes crying. It was a really rough night. The thought of all the trouble I'm in hurt so much that I just broke...

Day 25…Forgiveness is an order Today the Lord dealt with me. I was listening to some gospel music after having read the bible and my dare for the day, I’m trying to take it all in and then the Lord starts speaking to me , ‘Lebo, we have to talk.’ Sigh...

Day 31… Leaving issues Today I did not have much contact with Ara that’s fine though until the Lord dealt with me on my reason for choosing not to talk to him. Jesus told me that I’m still holding onto Ara, (even Jesus is saying this...

So today is love meets sexual needs, yeah...that did not happen. We are not married and its not something that can be done now. What I thought of doing instead was having an intimate moment with him, where he and I just enjoy each other without any interruptions...

Well this morning I woke up under attack! The devil put all my 'fiances' faults on my heart, ah what a way to wake up. lol I woke up hurting. Praying was difficult but God told me to push through the difficult situations because He is right there...

I have resolved in just not engaging in battles that are not necessary with him. I used to spend a lot of time and energy trying to get my point across and be heard but now I do not care about all of that. I suppose the reason is because i really do not...

Already so much has happened and its only 9am. Ok, so I got a message from him a continuation from last night. I asked him how he is doing with the Lord and he asked me where that came from. He proceeded by saying that No he doesn’t have a matter between...

Day 20… Jesus be the center of it all Ok so this journey has been very difficult! ‘ lost my fiancée, gotten so frustrated and best of all learned that I am in desperate need of my Jesus. I have always known that I need to get closer to God it just never...

God answered a prayer today when I aasked to have somebody to talk to about this whole thing. I asked Him if He would allow me to talk to the youth pastor and the pastors wife about everything that is happening. Upon speaking to both of them separately...

Yesterday could’ve easily been a tough day but the Lord kePT me and gave me peace throughout the day, even when the venom came in every direction. I woke up to a voice note from Ara saying that he has done everything he could to stand for us and...

Round 2, DAY 5…Prayer, prayer and more prayer Well today I woke up upset, I had a bad dream and in it Ara was telling me that he has reconnected with an ex of his. Ah that was not a good dream, I did not think about it long but I was missing Ara...

Today I was woken up by the Lord at 2am, I was told to pray and as I was praying I fell asleep, I was just so tired. I could sense that the Lord wanted me to pray for Ara and myself and that He may begin to prepare the man I’m going to marry…...

Day 39… Tuesday I woke up today and felt the presence of the Lord in my room. I was told to get my things and get ready to pray and have warfare in my room. This is the second time in one week that this happens. Anyway I spent time with the Lord...

I woke up and had a lovely prayer session with the Almighty Three, lol I love that title for them haha. Anyway Jesus tells me to go watch tbn when I was done. I switch on and it is Joyce Meyer teaching on weariness. Wow, what a blessing, through her message...

Well today is the beginning of my second round. I'm really excited about this round. Applying everything that Jesus had been teaching me over the past 40 days is going to be amazing. I learned so much the last round, this round I want to get even...