Round 2, DAY 5…Prayer, prayer and more prayer

Well today I woke up upset, I had a bad dream and in it Ara was telling me that he has reconnected with an ex of his. Ah that was not a good dream, I did not think about it long but I was missing Ara so much. So much that I almost took control but then Jesus called me to prayer time. Well after taking a bath I broke down in my room begging God to forgive me for trying to take control and telling Him that I need Him. My prayers have changed drastically, I used to pray for God to wake Ara up and make him stop but now I have since realised that I need God. I want Ara and I to work out yes but God more than anything in my life.

I see God working in my life majorly, when my rehearsals begin the first thing we do before we start working is pray. My health is giving in but God is still holding me up. Well once I finished praying I spent time reading me dare for the day, and wondered how on earth am I even going to do this dare after what happened yesterday!!!Well I remembered that how my dares are done are controlled by Jesus not me. That quickly ended my questioning. Well I got into the car and I prayed for Ara, I was still nervous about the big turn that our relationship has taken. Yesterday was truly unexpected however my spirit knew that something big was about to go down. I want to again give this to God, every moment I feel like this going to God is imperial. Well my day was stressful, it seems as though any little amount of work takes a huge toll on my body. Writing this, my body is killing me, it feels as if I’m about to pass out.

Anyway I bought ‘Redeeming Love’ yay, I am so excited about reading this book! I feel like a strong lesson is about to come my way through that book.

I have had some contact with Ara, the general check in then I asked him how his heart is doing, all he said was ‘hurt’ then I apologised then we started talking about something else. I sure  do miss him and thank God for the contact that he has allowed us to have. Its such a nice break from all the anger.