The past two days (wed and thurs) have been crazy hey!
The Lord tells me not to put my hope in Ara to make my birthday special instead I should ask Him to take over my birthday and have HIM make it special for me. The sacrifice for the day was my more about me than it was about Ara, I prayed and asked God to take control of my life and be my everything. This dare went well.
ITS MY BIRTHDAY (11 May) I was woken up by a friend of mine who spoke to me for an hour and a half. During the conversation I wondered hmmm is Ara going to call me anytime soon, NOTHING!!!
At about 1am I eventually fell asleep then at 5am Ara calls me and apologises for not calling me earlier. We had a short conversation; he told me that he did not plan anything for my birthday because he has been really angry at me so all he could do is take a day off from work to ‘spend’ it with me. AH here comes the part that completely changes his mood. I say, ‘I know, you told me that at the top of the week, I had hoped that you would have make any plan but I’m just thankful that you took a day for me.’ With that said he flipped to the side! He just got angry and everything changed. We make plans to meet at 10am, He comes at 12pm. He was moody the whole time as if I forced him to come over. We spoke about the affair he had with the woman at work, WOW, he said, ‘There is no evidence of that.’ I NEARLY TOOK THE KNIFE THAT WAS ON THE TABLE AND KILLED HIM. He told me that I have issues to deal with, OH MY WORD HAHAHA! My anger is coming up again.
We left the restaurant and went to the movies from there he was gone, his body was there but the rest was gone. He did not talk to me, look at me NOTHING. Please remember that it is my BIRTHDAY and I couldn’t get one day of rest. After the movie I popped, I went to the loo and CRIED so hard. I emailed a few people asking for help, only to find out that they are in a similar boat. I won’t lie, hearing that gave me hope knowing that I am not alone in this. We left for the youth we run at church and he saw an old friend who we landed up hanging out with. Being around him caused Ara to loosen up and eventually talk to me again. Throughout the youth he was next to me, chatting to me on the side and at some point he even jumped on me. He told his friend that we are engaged (I still wonder where that came from but ok) and he kept looking at me with love. He was slightly playful with me, I took this opportunity and asked him if we could pray together, he said yes. Oh wow, what happened to the sour man that nearly ruined my birthday? Oh he was still there waiting to be unleashed again… We prayed and he gave me a long hug and kissed me on the forehead. I wondered what happened. Anyway I decided not to have contact with him after youth, he went to his home and I went to mine. I did not enjoy my birthday at all but I began to understand why Jesus told me to give my birthday to him, it was because He wanted me to look to him as He saw that my birthday would be very difficult. I did not have a very good birthday. Anyway after him saying that there is no evidence I began and still am wondering if I should continue with this relationship cause he has become a liar and a cheat. So once I’m done with the dares, I’ll wait for the next instruction. I have 10 more days on the 40day dare, lets see how it all goes.
You are still dependent on him to give you what you need. For example, talking about the affair. Why? You need to seek out Christs forgiveness and grant that to him.
There is nothing you can do about that. You are not god so you cannot change anything. If you love him more forward. But seek out the comfort of Christ, not of the world.