Yesterday my fiance was just so amazing! He gave me so much attention and love. Truly it took me a while before I remembered that he is fulfilling his dare for the day and that the way he is acting may have been inspired by the Lord. I felt very special but that was nearly taken away from me because of thoughts of him being with another lady. That completely ruined my response to his affection. Quickly, Jesus came in and gave me peace! He reminded me that I need to cling to Him at all times because the moment I let go of Him that's when the devil sets in and tries to steal my joy. I prayed for strength then asked the Lord to help me finish my dare for the day. Jesus told me to call him and ask to meet him for dinner. The dinner will only be happening on the 25th after work. We will see how it goes.

Today I woke up upset again, I had a horrible dream about my fiance that upset me greatly. I so woke up and prayed and cried, its difficult waking up sometimes. Difficult because I get so insecure in my relationship with my fiance that I often just want to give up. The moment thoughts of wanting to give up came to mind the Lord took over. He reminded me that the dares are not about God fixing things between my fiance and I but rather that He (Jesus) and I get close and eventually become one. I needed that reality check!!!

I pray all the time that the Lord would help show love to my fiance because I struggle to do so now. I prayed for strength then logged on to read up on other peoples journals just for comfort and strength. The Lord spoke to me through somebodies post, "Leave the selfish prayer out of it. That prayer right now is you praying so that your selfish desire is granted of having your marriage your way. I am not saying that is a bad thing. But right now, you do not want your marriage the way it was. Because what you are on the path of is SOOOO much better. Right now your prayers need to be for his salvation and walk with Christ. For Gods will in his life. That's it.. " The moment I read that The Lord called me to pray and ask for more healing, salvation and love more than my own selfish desires.

I finished praying and the moment I said 'Amen' Jesus filled my heart with peace, love and joy. WOW I was overwhelmed but the love I received. Its been such a long time since I felt that loved. Jesus said to me that He will show me how to treat my fiance, even though he hurt me The Lord still wants me to show him love and kindness. WOW this 'Love Dare' is SO of God!! Anyway Jesus gave me the desire to call him and just check up on him, when I called we had such a wonderful yet simple conversation. It didn't last long but there I go, dare done and the Lord showed me how to love through HIM.

Now because I'm doing the love dare with my fiance as well as doing it alone, I have to do two dares everyday. So I'm currently on day 4 ( Love is Thoughtful) with my fiance. That dare is, " Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day.  Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them."  Jesus helped me do two dares at the same time through one phone call. Thank you Jesus.