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Round 4—Day 5—Love is not Rude

“Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.”

I received a message from a friend this morning with simply, “Psalm 73:23-26” written, so I looked it up.

²³ Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
²⁴ You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

Very fitting for how I have been feeling as of late. I then got ready for work and did my daily devotionals. Sure enough part of my Bible reading for today was Psalm 73:15-28. Even though I am struggling feeling and hearing Him, He is still reaching out to me as I continue to seek and knock.

I prayed for me to see the door open for the dare as this one I always find a little bit challenging being that it is so specific and seems a bit odd if you were to out of the blue ask your spouse. However, there is always a way for it to be done.

After work I gave my husband a call. We talked a little bit about our days since we wouldn’t be seeing each other till tomorrow. I had let him know about our counseling appointment on Monday since I hadn’t had a chance to tell him that one was actually set. It was then I saw a door. I asked him, before counseling, if he can let me know of anything I am doing to irritate and/or make him feel uncomfortable. I had my suspicions based on the conversation we had last night, but I did not want to put words in his mouth. His response was, “I thought that this is not what this is about.” I agreed and told him that is why I wanted to talk about it beforehand, so we aren’t hashing it out in counseling. He did not respond. I did not push. I did the dare as it asked. The response is not to be worried about.

Before my head hit the pillow, I sent him a text saying “I love you.” Despite still not feeling anything, I remind myself everyday to lead my heart. I am still at a loss, with what most people would consider a positive turn of events, that this is how I am feeling when two short weeks ago I was feeling the complete opposite.