Collaborate without boundaries

How do I do this, he left?

  • Comments 7

Hello everyone,

My husband and I are both 25. We’ve been married for going on 5 years. I struggle with infertility and we have no kids. He recently blew up on me, saying he’s had enough and that he’s done. That I won’t change, and that he wants to better himself. That we could be hppier with other people. I had started this love dare and was working on Day 2. I was planning on making him his favorite meal on day 2 when he told me he was done. I know I need to change things on myself but how can I if he won’t even give me the chance. I don’t know how to go forward with the dare because he isn’t even home and I don’t know what to say to him. We haven’t talked since he left Sunday and I don’t really know what to say or how to move forward with the Love dare. Has anybody else been here, how did you continue? 

thanks. 

  • Welcome.  many people have done well in doing the dares in your same situation.  YOur situation is not  unique by any means.

    Realize this is a journey between you and Christ, not you and him.  He will be used as a tool to mold you to love as Jesus loves.  Do a dare a day, no more, no less.  Do the dares as intended, without manipulating them.  Do not read ahead in the book, other than the appendix, especially about leading the heart.  Have no expectations of him when you do the dares.

  • Dont worry about changing if you do the dares you will be molded into the changes that need to take place.  

    When he is gone, do the dare the best you can.  Many people pray in the morning, read the dare for the day, then pray upon that in how to accomplish it.  Many people have said they often had a door opened by God on how to accomplish the dare when it didn't look possible.  

    Even if you didn't do the dare because he was gone, if you attempted it the best you could, consider ti complete.  And move on to the next dare.

  • I know nothing about this part, but have heard it can affect a marriage in a tough way, and that is when one or the other person struggles with infertility.  so, this may be the case with you.  

  • If you can't be happy with one person you can't be happy with another. That logic makes absolutely no sense. If he can't fix his problem with you what in the world makes him think that he will be able to put up with someone else? He's never going to find the perfect person.

    You can continue to do the dares because it is the right thing to do and YOU are learning from them. Not him. You will learn relationship skills that will benefit you AND grow closer to God. If he doesn't respond that's on him.

  • My wife is leaving and there's nothing I can do about it. 19 years of marriage- gone. She is saying the same thing. I won't change. We could be happier with other people. She needs to learn to live on her own. Just a bunch of excuses as far as I'm concerned. I know she was/is "confiding" in another man too because she admitted it in marriage therapy before she quit. You are probably going to get bombarded by this stuff too. All you can do is keep your nose clean and rely on Christian friends and therapists to help you through. Anyone who tells you it's acceptable to break your marriage vows has no idea what they are talking about.

  • I don’t know how to do the dares specifically Day 2 & 3 especially because he isn’t here for me to do them. How can I do them if he won’t talk to me and isn’t home?

  • In prayer seek how to do the dares when he isn't there.  You are in ways actually at an advantage in doing the dares while he is gone vs people that have their spouse home.  Because you will have opportunity to grow more in doing the dares when you are so much more dependent on God to accomplish them.

    Remember, focus on a dare a day, such as not worrying about dare two and three on the same day.  If you can not do a dare, then the next day move on to the next dare.

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