Day 31 Love and marriage
After reading this dare there are several things that I feel are holding us back in regards to each of our families. Both our families are divorced. However, a year ago my parents remarried. They remarried for the wrong reasons. Or did they? I will have to say this my mom is starting to speak of religion. My dad has always spoke of religion, I do not think he has found God though. That is not for me to judge. I do believe they can reach higher ground and I have reconnected with my family. This has allowed me to come to term with issues I am holding inside. Work in progress combined with the other issues that I have with my life. My kids do not know their grandparents. My two oldest had a relationship with my dad until he hit my son. I would not subject my kids to the abuse I suffered. I believed that my dad was a better granddad then a dad. He has tried to reconcile and I said that is between him, my kids and the Lord. I am cautious of my kids with him but I forgive him and place it to the Lord. This dynamic has caused tension with my wife anytime I bring up seeing my side of the family. I do want my parents to know their grand kids as they are getting old. My mom is a little off herself. My wife's mom has serious health issues and was not that great of a mother to her kids. I have seen her mistreatment of her husband and I know that creates tension on visitations with her. My wife's dad is remarried and that family is remarkable. They are cautious of me and I proved that rightfully so. I am very thankful for the love and care they provided to not only me but my kids as well. Without hesitation they treated my family as their own. I can not stress enough the deceit I feel inside. I realized that I need to ask for forgiveness and hold myself accountable on that! The lessons that I learned from her dad are still unfolding. So here is what I have to say about Day 31 Love and marriage:
I vow to make my relationship with my father and mother whole. To forgive and heal the wrongs that have happened. To air the misunderstandings and to walk as a family with the Lord. I want to do this so I am able to become one in my marriage to you. I vow to support you in your relationship with your mother. To be less judging and more of a listener for you. To be more open of your family as mine and less afraid of the goodness they have to offer. Finally, I value our family to the highest. I am committed to making our marriage the top priority to any other human relationship.
With what has happened the past couple if days has led me to commit to as many rounds as He wants. So I dropped our youngest off to the wife today. We went on a hike and all I could do was give thanks for His grace. I praised Him so much today. My oldest daughter and my wife talked. Once we were done my wife hugged me and said that she was proud of me. I can not say how that hug made me feel. I gave thanks to the Lord for the time I was able to spend with my two daughters and my wife.
I emailed my vow to place our marriage first to my wife to complete the dare. I am so thankful of the time God granted me with her today.
It says in the Bible to honor thy father and mother. And you must do that.
If you think they remarried for the wrong reasons, then choose the one who would be more accepting to the dare and give it to them. If you have seen the movie fireproof you will see where I am going with it. If not then get the movie and watch it.
As Sean said, spread the dare....we are called to spread the word, and the dare is a great way to do so.
I dont know you very well and I dont know your family.
That being said, are you making an assumption regarding your mother in law? Could it be that she is bitter towards her ex husband because he remarried when she was hoping he would turn around and work on things with her?
Your family is also being an example of what to do. They divorced, found Jesus (maybe) and then found each other again. You say its for the wrong reasons, then you doubted yourself in the same paragraph. That says something.
I read somewhere that 90% of couples that divorce have serious thoughts if not talks of trying to make it work again......
No assumptions with my mother-in law. There is a history of abuse with her. I know she struggles with her demons. I know my wife struggles with her and God willing I will support my wife and try as I can to ease those struggles. I say they remarried for the wrong reasons due to what they both say, "We are getting old and do not want to be alone" I would not say its doubt. I am saying that they do not know or realize the true reason/s they remarried. I believe it is something more. It did not occur to me to pass on the dare. I will pass this on to my dad. It is him that will complete it.