Day 22 Love is faithful
It has been some time since my last completion of a dare. Since
then as some of you know I have started another journey. This has
allowed me to understand what I am doing. Sean, your last words of
dependance on Christ and changed my life. I few weeks ago I went to
Idaho to pick my daughter up. While there I was not feeling very
connected to God. I was struggling. My daughter was coming home.
My son was leaving to live with his mother and I still had no clue
how to connect to Christ. I met some parents there and one single
mom how's daughter had a relationship with my daughter had her best
friend with her. There was a connection and we started talking. I
made a comment that was of my old typical self. The experience there
ended and my daughter and I drove home. I spent the next couple
weeks trying to figure things out. Reading posts on here and praying
and wondering if I am just doomed to roam. My daughter has been in
contact with her friend and told me that I am to email pictures to
her friends Mom's friend (I know confusing but names are not needed).
I posted them to facebook already and just sent her a link. She
then started to message me and things got provocative. I felt good
that someone found interest in me. That lasted all of what it took
you to read. I felt so distant from God. One conversation I could
not take it anymore and we were talking about her divorce and I said
that there are only two things that I can do for you. Both are
books. Look at laugh your way to a better marriage and The Love
Dare. I then explained to her my situation and how I have found God
and I need him in my life and that whom I choose to be with must feel
the same way. There is only one thing that I want and that is for me
to do God's will. What happened next floored me. She allowed me to
talk and explain my life for about an hour or so. Then she said that
she felt the same and explained how she had married someone that
didn’t believe. She knew that God wanted her to find someone who
believed. I ended the phone call and prayed. I gave it all to God
and asked for forgiveness. I asked for the path I am supposed to
walk and that I be allowed to do His will. I asked why the Love
Dare? Answer is simple isnt? His response was for Him. I prayed
about my wife and our marriage. I was blessed with an answer about
walking with Him and that my marriage was not meant to be. What I
must say is that I have had this since of calmness in me. I know my
path. Before I did not know that I was dependent on the Lord. I
acknowledged this to Him. He is showing my patience. He is showing
me that what I need he will provide. What I need is Him, He will
provide what I need and nothing more.
So how does this have anything to do with the dare of day 22? I
had texted my wife asking for some advice about taking our 3 year old
hiking and camping on some of the shorter segments. She called back
very distraught. The conversation did not go well at all for her. I
listened with no judgement. She is not taking my walk with Christ
lightly. She became upset and said that she would call back later.
During one of our conversations I turned my back on Christ for her
due to the fact that I knew she was not religious. Hence my recent
feeling of being lost. She called back and she was very upset.
Saying how my posting on Facebook about hiking and God is a slap in
her face. I explained that I am not doing that to upstage her but to
allow my family to see what I am doing. She said that she left
Facebook. She said somethings about how easy it would be to come
back to me but she doesn’t believe that I have changed. She asked
about the affair. She questioned my faith again. I did not back
down and stood strong for my Lord. I showed no shame in my faith or
belief in Christ. I asked if she had anything else to talk about.
Then let her go. I stood my ground and defended my Lord. I said in
not so simple words “I love you. Period. I choose to love you even
if you don't love me in return.” I was taught that my love for my
wife is what she needs. It is not that of a man and wife but as
friends. I have prayed on this very hard. I have also learned that
what I want is God's plan for me. I have nothing to force or work
for only God's will.
Her words are her own conviction. I cannot tell you how many times I've heard those venomous words come out of my husband's mouth. Not for one second am I going to let him stop my walk with Christ because it makes him feel uncomfortable. He still comes back for more though... ;) Way to stand firm in Him! Your light and love will continue to shine and at some point she will be drawn to it...to Him. . Your journeys through Love Dare and exploring God's beautiful natural creation are showing your testimony, which is shining bright...to your wife...to the woman you talked to...to all of those following you on facebook. Praise God!
Why do you suppose your wife would be feeling convicted yet you are thinking the marriage is over?
Are you not supposed to be loving your wife until death do you part? Are you SURE that your flesh isnt screaming louder than Him?
I know it gets tricky, but if your wife is so convicted by your walk (and thus jealous), why are you so sure that you are meant to not be married to her?
The woman you talked to kept trying to leave her own marraige even after you told her about the dares and your walk, she was still trying to reach out to you. This is not right and it can very easily tempt you. Satan is subtle my friend.
God hates divorce. He is telling you something that goes against his own Word?
Jason - do you think it is more giving your wife space to let God do His work rather than your marriage not being meant to be? I challenge you to truly keep praying on that...
With regards to finding a believer...we are called to bring people to Christ...quitting because they are not a believer is not showing His love unconditionally. My husband is not a believer, but I stand for our marriage every day and pray for his heart. to come to Christ many times a day. I could not imagine any other option.
We had a discussion about me finding Christ. She said that if I had came to her while we were together she would have left me. She thinks that I found Christ as a cop out for my faults.
Just a reminder that I am not giving up. I am loving my relationship with Christ.
Lets put your wife aside for the moment.
God will never tell you your marriage was never meant to be. Will not happen. However, He has given us a writ of divorce because of our hardened hearts. However there is conditions on that. Adultery. Please correct me if I am wrong, it was your adultery that created a situation between you and your wife. That does not give your hardened heart a way out. It does for your wife.
Now, you came to Christ and searched for forgiveness, and received it. From Him. But that does not make everything OK to seek out a divorce. And yet, are you not still married? Separated maybe, but none the less still married.
Now as I tell everyone. Dont quit the dare, dont stall the dare. If you do, you are quitting/stalling on Christ and your journey with Him. It is then that satan comes in and picks up where you left off with Christ. Hence, I believe the position you are in.
Back to your wife. She is still of the flesh. So her thoughts on your journey dont matter. It is your testimony that will convince her. But being away from Christ it will never be possible to show a love of Christ and His work in your life, what you will be showing is a manipulation. And I promise you, just as doing things your way got you here in the first place, doing things your way now without Christ will be worse.
If I am reading any of this post wrong. Please let me know. I have read it twice and I come to the same conclusion.
Sean you have incredible insight. I am not quitting the dare. May have staled it but I believe that was God's work with me. Jenn thank you so much for our conversation last night. I have never had God in my life before and as I learn I do become overwhelmed. I am not looking for a way out of my marriage. I want to do God's will. I get scared because my wife seems so against Him. I was being selfish. What I need to is patience and to wait on God's grace! I do not want to do things my way anymore. My dependence on Christ is where I gain my strength. My journey has allowed me the ability to connect with God on a level that I needed. Things have happened in the past couple of weeks that have but things in perspective for me. Rather opened my eyes to His work.
Maybe to help clarify something. God wants me to do His will. He was shown me that it is my wife's desire to get a divorce. Things are easier said after that fact sometimes.
NOTHING about this journey will be easy. I dont know what happened in the span of 14 hours today, but it is NOT His will that you divorce. Just because your wife desires a divorce, or just tells you she does (she may not really know herself if she wants it), doesnt mean you have to give into that desire thinking that its God's will. God is going to show you things about your spouse that you will not like to hear or see. This is so you can pray for her on these things. I would be interested to know how you are praying for her.
I am not praying of her as I should be. WOW. Thank you.