Day 20 Love is Jesus Christ:
The prayer in this chapter is what I have been looking for. After
I read it I realized that Christ answered a prayer of mine today. I
have been struggling with my son. I prayed for patience and
understanding and was always very quick to anger with my son. He is
struggling with something and he will not open up to me. We have had
a very bad couple of weeks. He came home from school today and I had
trashed his room to do finding very old food under his bed. I was at
counseling and received a call from his mom saying that he doesnt
want to live with me anymore. We talked about the situation and I
dealt with her with understanding and patience. We have a bad
history and I can tell some tension in her voice as she quickly
brought up PTSD and hurting my kids. Never ever even comes close to
abusing my kids. I went through that myself and I refuse to hit my
kids. I am very stern on them following the rules and I give very
little leeway on them. They are not used to it. So I came home and
talked to my son with patience and understanding. He was straight
with me and said that he is tired of not doing the right thing and
feels that he will do better with his mom since she raises him
differently. I am agreeing with this cause I feel that he needs a
change, a clean start if you will. However I feel that he is running
from greater issues then what he is saying. I can see it in his
eyes. So fast forward to me reading the chapter today and that
Christ had answered my prayers on how to handle my son. The answer
is to let him live with his mom. A feeling of calmness came over
both of us tonight. I praise the Lord for answering my prayers. I
feel his love.
Kids part is tough. I have the same situation with my daughter. She wants to live anywhere but here. However she turns 18 in a couple months and I am sure she is going to leave before she even blows out the candles. And I am also sure that she will want to move back in before the smoke clears....
Sometimes we need to set our selfish desires aside and let them find out for themselves.
Kid stuff is tough. It challenges you at every angle. It's GREAT that you have peace with such a decision.
My son is really struggling and we seem to be at odds with each other. I am sure just as he is that we are both tired of the confrontations. He is a momma's boy and does not know how to open up to me. As Sean pointed out my desires need to be put aside so he can feel comfortable with himself. He is deliberately doing things he knows is wrong. Like I just noticed that he surfed porn on my laptop. So he is after the negative attention and I need to stop that cycle. He started talking to me a little last night but while I was at counseling with my daughter he snooped through some of my stuff and did the porn thing. It really tears me up that I can not trust my kids. Lots of praying.
When the foundation is rocked, everyone rolls, ya know? It is hard, hard, hard. Yup...lots of prayers. I always request that He show me how to meet my kids where they are...you know what I mean? Like, how to talk to them so they understand. He has provided in HUGE ways. Give it to Him...as you have.