Day 11 Love cherishes
Today I prayed for the answer to do this dare. Nothing came to me
as I waited through the day. I checked my email and noticed a saved
draft message. I read it and erased it. Started a new one that
thanked my spouse for the positive influence that she had on me. I
apologized and humbled myself. I have no idea of her reaction but I
made a peace offering of being available is she needed anything done
around the house as she continues to move in. Something told me to
write this email. I feel that it was how I was supposed to
accomplish this dare.
I need to say that the days are easy. I am not worrying about what the future holds. I have my slips but for the most part holding steady. I pray daily and read the bible daily. I am happy with my life. This is new to me and scary.
So my wife just called me and let me know some bad news. My kids had been rather abusive to her daughter during our marriage. This was hard to hear but I knew it was true. That was the example I had shown my kids. This gives me new drive in establishing my parental skills with my kids. I look forward to picking my daughter up from wilderness next week. I look forward to the pain and growth to follow.
My wife and I talked about things and I understand where she is at better. The Lord has made it clear that my path is not with my wife. He has greater things for us. Here is the remarkable part of our conversation. My wife demonstrated her awesome strength and big heart as we were talking. I was crying due to what I heard and was saying that I am responsible and that is why am I changing. That I am so aware of the betrayal I set on her. She said Jason look at what you went through. Some pretty crappy things. I didn't expect that. Prior to us separating I would easily look past that.
So love cherishes and today unexpectedly the Lord showed me that.
Always know Christ will bless you in His plan. That is why we must not worry about our future, and remember that our testimony, our journey was part of His plan. When we take the control and do it our way, everything is out of control.
Thank you Sean