The margin I need to add to my life is working out in the morning. Displaying the discipline to God and my kids that it takes work for a sound mind and body. This will help me face the day clear and calm. I need to add time to my night for God. This will allow me to bound with my family as we bound with God together. This will allow me to rest peacefully and help me connect with God.
I need to release all the wrong motivations listed in the book. Stress, Selfishness and lust. These keep me from letting love flourish and guide my relationships. Reflecting back on my past relationships I understand why I am facing my fourth divorce. I understand the importance of placing my family and wife above my own needs. There was this power the swept over me when I realized that. My desire for self satisfaction is almost zero. I spent more time playing online video games then loving my family. Like in the movie. My computer sat in a heap in the garage for a couple of days. It is now being recycled at the local hazmat recycling center. The day that I destroyed my computer I apologized to my family for loving something over them. This felt good and pure. The need to place myself above others is going away if not gone already.
Day 7 here I come.
Sorry…I am just crazy busy right now. I laughed initially because of the chemistry you two have despite the current situation. She sounds like a fireball. Her asking if God brought you over to look at her butt just made my day and your responses flat out make me bust out. You have commented on moments of intimacy…and I hope you realize that those funny situations and “coffee” sharing situations are intimacy as well. Big time.
I laughed also because of how freely you tell Emily how you love God and He is carrying you, etc. As Christians, we are to be a Light. But, I know with my husband, it is a question of authenticity on my part. It is with your Emily as well. In my opinion, and definitely hold me accountable, but I would not speak of your Love for Christ with HER unless she directly asks or guides the conversation. Show her in your actions, behaviors, and deeds. When you talk about it as you do, it creates discomfort in her. Yes, partly conviction…but I think it is that it is a foreign language. Have you read Sean’s journal about the car and passenger? It’s like when I use to teach English and would start reciting Shakespeare to my Freshmen. They were initially looking at me like I was a martian. They had to grow into it to get it, grasp it, and then understand it and dig deeper themselves. That make sense?
One other point…and again, feel free to hold me accountable on anything I say as we are both growing in Christ. When you pray, ask God to continue softening your heart. Ask Him to allow you to see things from Emily’s perspective. Yes, she has made some choices…you made some bonehead choices, too, which is why you are where you are now…just as I am. I have praised you for your giving nature and making sure you provide…but remember Emily doesn’t know where you are coming from…and when you give less $, she questions if you are holding back…hiding something.(Hiding something on many levels…think about this.) Remember, who you are now is perplexing to her…you are different and she suspects a definite chip in your armor. Please also realize that what Emily does all day with kids is tough and exhausting and you need to respect that. I realize people see it as easy…there is nothing further from the truth. There is nothing more under-appreciated then a woman that runs her household. It is taken for granted and expected for free. You need to thank her for all she does, appreciate her for all she does…as a mother and a woman. When she says, “Must be nice,” she is wanting you to acknowledge that she feels she in never off. Even when she is “on duty” she is considered “off duty” if she isn’t raking in the dough. You guys have an autistic child on top of it. WOW! The challenges in that!!!!!!! “Lead me with strong hands”…. Lead her heart with some gratitiude if you haven’t. There is awesome power and strength in showing her what a woman you think she is. Realize this…take it to heart. Pray on it. Thank her, thank her, thank her. Talk soon, friend. Lib
I am afraid that you have the wrong Jason. Although what you have said was wonderful to read. Thank you for taking the time to respond.
HAHA!!!! Consider yourself lectured!!!
This is when you must realize that leading your heart is not a deception to you. Following your heart is only for the moment.
Remember take one day at a time. Do not look ahead.