Collaborate without boundaries

Motivation R2

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I always pray everyday..I pray to God about my wife..and always say her Name..ever since I did this dare..I always pray for good health, success and guidance to do what is right. 

But this morning I learned that she had an invitation from a part time coworker for a house warming this saturday. So, I asked her if she have somewhere to go. She was stuttering to answer and then said she is going with our room mate..I said, you never bothered to ask me if we could go as a family. Then she started to say she dont’t even know if the invation is for the family. She was just invited yesterday. Then she said I’m not even sure if I’m going. All she know she said she was invited and She dont know if its the whole family. I told her at least respect me as a husband..tell me if you are gonna go out..then out of anger I guess I said something like She’s always out either shopping or work or with friends. You can’t even go home and help your kid to do homework. Everyday, I rush home so I could help my kid do his homework. While, at least my opinion, she just relax and not help him..

Yes, I know, I made a mistake again. Expecting her to at least tell me. I did realized it later on..I told her if she will go alone there’s nothing I could do. Our kids don’t usually go to her..like when she call or greet our youngest good morning he usually say “go away” or even when she just wanted to play with them..they usually gonaway from her..and she always ask why dont you go with me..she has to bribe them like toys or food..before the go with her..but once they get bored or done with it.. they go running to me and stay with me..i do push and tell them everyday to love their mom..when we go to the church, she always want our youngest to sit on her lap or beside her but he usually go to ge by himself..and she just grab him..but he ends up going to me again..i feel like she wants to compete with our kids attention but they are just too close to me now..because maybe they feel she’s not always around..and when she’s around all she says is “no, you cant do that”, “behave” and etc..at least that’s what our eldest always say when she’s with them..I do remind my kids to never hate their mom..And always love her.

It’s up to her if she will go to the invitation without us..or at least tell me that she is goin..if she tells me or not..it’s up to her and there’s nothing I can do.. All I can do is continue to do the dares..continue to pray and continue to do what I do everyday and respect her... I’m leaving to Switzerland the day after Christmas..visit my sister at the same time have a break from this..I will miss my kids and wife tho..I wont be with them for the new year..my eldest is kindda sad already but I have to take a break or else I’ll burn out..I already told her about it when I got my ticket..I also bought her a gift for Christmas..I’m not expecting her to give me anything but I will give her one..i’ll insert a letter telling her all my feelings for her..

  • Be careful about the letter.  Pray if this will get in her space. I would say during the first two rounds or so, do only a dare a day.  She still needs space.

    Concerning the invitation. Even if you found out without snooping, leave these things for her to bring up.  you tried to control things by bringing it up and confronting her with it.  

    Ok, have to help now, may be able to come back soon.  or tomorrow.

  • I see that you are focused on completing the dares. Try to move your focus off of her and the dares and to God. Learn how to GAZE at God and GLANCE at your circumstances. Praise God even through the tough times.

  • Kiddies go wherever they feel the safest.  Is their a way you could take them with you?  My children always come to me too.  Even now in their late teens and 20's they'll only go to their father if I tell them too really.  

  • Teach him not  to say things like Go away to her.  He can greet kindly too.  

  • This sounds similar to my situation. Our kids many times do not want to go to their mother. It's hard not to blame them because she is going against many things the Bible and the church teaches but WE have to obey God. WE have to show love under any circumstances. I know how difficult that is and how easy it is to mess that up but we must strive to see the good in our spouse.

    I know it is difficult to see her go do things without you but something could happen at that house warming that God needs to happen. Don't try to control the situation. Let your wife do what she needs to do and trust that God will be with her and help her. Pray for her.

    Keep praying and read your Bible regularly. Don't give up and don't quit. Talk to a preacher or counselor or close Christian friend. Do the dares and don't do any more or less.

    In my experience my wife doesn't want to hear about my feelings. I think what she desires Is to see actions. I think anything you say to your wife right now is going to make her upset. She wants space and needs space. You do too so you can spend time with Christ and learn and grow.

    "Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful."

    Colossians 3:13-15

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