Collaborate without boundaries

Love brings unity

  • Comments 9

love and unity. Today she went to church with me and kids...which she said she can’t coz she has her school papers to do. I didn’t object to it and didn’t expect it anyway..As I’ve said on my previous post..I’m done expecting a lot from her coz it angers me if I expect a lot from her and she fails to deliver the expectation..

today, I had been just patient with her, agreed most of all her request without complain, I didn’t worry about her going out today(she’s just studying/making the paper with a classmate)..It feels great really not to worry and I even fell asleep very early..didn’t text her since she left home. She came home 12hrs after..I know where, what, who she is doing and going anyway..she came home not done yet and needed my help with the documents in the laptop..I helped her and went back to bed..today was more of just agreeing with her for unity. No fights just love for her..I’m just glad I was able to resist getting jealous for no reason(going out today with her co-worker/classmate to study)..i did worry though that she wasn’t home til 3am and out with somebody who I was jealous to(for no reason, i know nothing is happening between them)..but just worried she wasn’t home..its all I care..she has to work in the morning..well, anyway, I wish I was like this before..but it’s not late..I can still change and be a better person and husband to my wife..

  • Even in the best marriages the husband and wife will disappoint each other.  So, if/when things get to where the marriage should be, keep control of the anger when she disappoints.  As you continue the dares, you will become better at controlling your emotions instead of letting your emotions control you.  It is great you have been controlling your emotions and keeping from getting upset.  

    If she is doing school work one on one with another guy, that should not happen.  Right now, there isn't much if anything you can do.  I am sure you are right, that  nothing is going on.  But, when people of the opposite sex spend alone time together, a bond can form, even if it's just an emotional bond, it is not right.  

  • I know..I know a bond could form. That I’m afraid of..I just cant tell her that right now coz It might make it worse for my side..she will become more angry at me if I ask or tell her..I do want to tell/ ask her about it. But how do I ask her without offending her or without ending up to a fight again? Right now all I do is to pray that i will get a chance at our marriage..and be better person to her through GOD

  • Right now all I say or ask ends up to be offending her or intrusive to her. I cant really ask her stuff specially like that..she’s still angry at me..

  • Last time we talked about our marriage she said it’s done..she is done..she dont feel she Love me anymore..I’m afraid I might lose her..but still holding on coz I believe GOD will shower us both with his love to love each other again..

  • If she begins talking about the marriage, then you should respond to her.  But you don't need to bring up the marriage at all now.  If you do, as you say, she will just become mad or she will have to say it is over, just to show you she hasn't caved in.

    You do have a right to protect your marriage.  And i do not really know what/how/or if anything you should do.  So often when we feel we should do something it is us taking control and not trusting God to handle things, so it is often best to Be still and know He is God.  But, maybe you could say it isn't right for any married person to be alone with someone of the opposite sex.  Yes, she will get mad but in a day or two or maybe even in a few hours, she will calm down.  but, if you choose to say something, after you say what you feel you are lead by God to say, then you need to not bring it up again for quite some time.  

  • Pray about what to say or if you should say anything and say nothing until you are sure you are in God's peace about your decision.  

    This is a tough area for me, so, please make sure you are in God's will through prayer in whatever you choose to do.

    She will probably continue to study with him no matter if you do or don't say anything.  At that point, you do need to leave it in God's hands.

    Pray that God protects the sanctity of your marriage.

  • The thing is I already told her about it. I told her I’m jealous about her studying with him and meeting her every sunday to study..i feel like she spent more time with him than me..sometime they eat dinner coz they study together..at nighy so they have to eat..if I bring it up again...It will make her angry again to me..it’s really tough situation for me..if I revisit it again or not..the thing is right now I dont think there is something going on..I hope not.i already asked her about it but I dont know the future..I could only pray to GOD about our marriage..that she will honor our marriage and give me chance to save it..

  • Sorry.  If you have brought it up, then that's about all you can do.  You can not make her do anything.  Pray there's a barrier placed between her and him.  

    And love believes the best, that nothing is going on.   80% of what we worry about is nothing.15% we make it into something much worse than it really is, and 5% we continue to love unconditionally and to forgive.

  • It’s ok..been to that stage of my life that I get jealous of the coworker/classmate..and besides I know my wife..I know she wouldn’t do that..She told me that the problem is not about other guy..the problem is about me. And I trust her word.. I love her so much that I believe there is nothing wrong between her and her friend..I was jealous coz of time spent not on me..but not because there is something wrong.. i trust her word that there is nothing between him and her..and It all that matters to me..I’m learning to let my jealousy go away..and I do hope really nothing between them..all I have is her word..and trust GOD for this matter..

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