Collaborate without boundaries

Love’s motivation

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Today was difficult. I prayed for her using her real name. I prayed at the church this morning bcause I went to hear mass for Saint Jude Thaddeus. It’s his fiest day today. I prayed for our marriage and forgiveness. Saying “i love you” is not that difficult for me. I always say it to her even right now that we are fighting.. he does have a reaction like why is he still telling me that..It’s difficult day coz we fought a little. We went to a party and she barely talk to me..I felt left out..we fought but I still told her that I love her..my feeling is still the same since We were still gf/bf..it has nt changed..when she told me she didn’t feel the same way anymore..I felt the same when we first broke up in HS as gf/bf..It’s a hard day coz we fought coz of her plans to go out but cancelled..I know I have to focus on my relationship with GOD and me only..but sometimes I cant avoid to be human and stress about my marriage too..My sister asked me if I could visit her in switzerland coz I my burnt myslef out of this stressful event..if I could bring the kids why not..and even invite my wife too..it would be great if we all could go..I will ask her though about it.. I love her but I wont expect her to love me again right now..i know it will take time..If ever it will comeback again..Anyway..thanks and have a blessed sunday

  • I was so close last night to make our relation to a bad one..I was angry at her coz she accuses me of meddling/ changing the settings of her phone. Our son borrowed her phone and couldn’t connect to her internet and cant watch youtube. So he asked me to look in to it if I could fix it..so I check on the settings and look at the data if everything was turned on and check everything..but never went to change anything in the settings..didn’t read messages tho was tempted but I resisted. She grab her phone accusing me amof something I didn’t do. I got angry but I left went to the car coz we were still in the party( didnt want ti make a scene)..i called her and explained to her about what happened but she still accuses me of meddling/changing her settings..yes, my voice was raised while I was talking to her in the phone but never said anything hurtful or cursing. I told her I’ve been wanting to touch your phone but I did not coz I dont want to do that anymore..anyway, I hang up the phone and made a message which I was planning to send her. On the messages was more hurtful..a lot of hurtful words that I thank GOD I resisted to send it..I would have regreted it. Anyway, bit my lips til we arrive home from the party.

    I asked her about the trip..she declined..but I said atleast can i bring the kids..she asked me if I could handle 2 kids..she said maybe bring 1, our eldest. That sound reasonable. After all she said I need a vacation and maybe go to a family coz I’m over stressing everything. Maybe it could help me. I’m glad I bit my tongue and never said or texted anything bad to her..It would have been a disaster which I will regret.. today is church day but I’m not expecting her to join me..at least she said it..coz she planned to go to church 8:30am..but she didn’t..maybe she changed her mind and maybe go with me..at the same time pick up our kid from sunday class..I know she got a deadline on her DPT today..

    Have a blessed sunday!

  • Happy feast day.  Remember Wednesday is All Saints day.  

    At the party, and other places.  she is going to for sure ignore you and leave you alone.  She can not be friendly there to you, because she knows you will see it as her letting her wall down.  And she isn't ready to do that.  In these situations, where you feel hurt, go to prayer, not anger.  

    You need to find comfort in God first, not in her.  Imagine placing God way above her, but not loving her less.  And how you need God so much more than the desire you have for her.  And then find comfort in God no matte what she does or says.

  • Do not touch her phone, her purse, or anything of hers without her permission.  if your son asks about her phone, let him know he should ask his mom about it.  She will view you touching anything of hers as you are snooping.  And she views you touching anything of hers as getting in her space.

    It's great you did not send the message or look at her messages.  

    Do not be upset if at some points she asks you not to kiss her any more.  she might some day feel like accepting a kiss from you is to her letting her wall down.  

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