Collaborate without boundaries

Love is impossible..looking back

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Well, looking back from the day I started alot has happened. First after she told me about her feelings for me is gone and she wants out I felt down and angry. Angry why it happened? I couldn’t believe why and reacted with hate and anger. When my brother told me about the dare and explained it to me. I said I will do it. I wasn’t sure what to do actually but I still did it. I started to pray and went for confession and went back to church. As I do the dare everyday, i begun to change my way. I prayed more and I’m more patient with her even if she dont really respond well when I calmly talk to her. I know she noticed my changes but dont trust it. On day 18 I did something I haven’t done in a long time..i know she got annoyed with me but I tried to be atleast sweet with her. Kissed her forehead or tried to but she rejects it. I did kiss her forehead when she was asleep. Even tried to tickle her with kids but she said no/stop. Hugged her but she pushed me back. I was just playing around with her with no desire of anything else. Finally when she said to stop I did stop and proceed to do the stuff I do. My chores, cooking, kids and others. But day 18, i noticed that even if she rejected me, I was not mad/ angry. Not a bit. I even felt good. Coz she rejected me but it feel like soft rejection. I know I have not fully stop snooping but Im over it today. I removed her email(with consent by her before) on my phone. I dont really think about anything anymore like getting jealous..on who and where she is going. All I do when I feel weak is just pray to GOD. I prayed more now than I’ve ever prayed before. I’m slowly changing who I am. Even have my kids get involve for church and sunday school. I want them to love GOD because that was something I have not done for the last 11 years or more. This dare really made me realized more how things have slowly changed my way of life and my views..more than anything else. Yes I still desire that my wife to love me but as what I always tell her to let me change my self first thru GOD and my faith. Because without GOD my life was ruined. Without GOD I lost the love and I was more angry. So, I’m changing myself first thru GOD.

  • God always wants to be first in our hearts. So proud of you!! God is the only one that will always be there and always love us no matter what.

  • Thanks! Today I didn’t really talk to my wife coz I had been annoying her but with attemps of hugs, forehead kiss and tickling..just playing around with her although she rejects my attemps. I don’t wanna do it again..she might get angry/mad at me for doing it. While she was helping our son with his homework for spelling(i did it with him for math). She must be tired from work and she has to help him on his homework. She was a little cranky. If our son dont listen she gets angry at him. She shouted at him on some point. I was just there listening to them..everytime she gets mad I have to tell calm down..and reminded her that she used to tell me not to shout at him when we are doing homework. You see, before this all happened I was like that. I’m tired from work and I have to help him on homework. I have the tendency to get angry and shout at him when he get it wrong or not listening. But when I started this dare..I slowly become patient with our matter how tired I am..I make sure I bite my tongue to a when I’m mad/ angry to my son, just like toward my Wife. Everything I do to my wife I do it to my kids. Being patient to them(kids and wife), give them surprises no matter how cheap it is, just love them in any way..this dare help me to be the person I am right now..I still have my short comings but I’m slowly changing it. This is the reason I will do the dare no matter what. It is my journey towards GOD.

  • You are getting it, that the dares are a journey between you and God.  And you are learning even more about giving her space.

    We often give hugs or kisses to see where we stand with our spouse.  Because if they give a kiss back, we feel comfort and it's a way to gage if they have softened toward us.  

  • Seeing your  changes with the kids is good.  This will help her to start believing your changes are real.  Be careful in how you bring up to her how she is yelling at the kids.  She may try to use that against you.  

  • I know if I tell her about not yelling on the kids would be either she will take it negatively or not. I did tell calmly and let her proceed with what they were doing. I didn’t really interfere coz I want her to spend time with him too. The kids are always close to me though. They usually cling on me more than her. But I do tell our kids to go to their mom.

    Yes I use the hugs and kisses as a guage of where I am to her. I do feel disappointed when she rejects it but I just let it go and smile. Well, I will just continue changing myself first through my faith in our Lord. And pray for strength, patience, guidance, enlightenment, forgiveness and heal our marriage.

  • I can say I'm more Godly now that I was before.  She and I have reversed roles.  Even though my divorce is looming, I have God on my side.  When I'm weak He makes me strong.  So putting God first is important for me.

  • My wife hasn’t talked about divorce yet. She only say she doen’t love me and she dont know if it will come back again..until she gives me that paper..i wont give up on our marriage. But one thing I know, I will never go back to what I was before. Not being with GOD was the worse time of my life..felt lost during that time..I’m glad I’m doing this dare and discovered to love GOD again..

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