Collaborate without boundaries


  • Comments 5

Thursday night after I entered my journal I was about to go to bed and found out that my wife had been communicating with the guy that I thought she may have been seeing.  I didn’t take it well so I went to my home and confronted her and was able to see their messages back in forth she had been sending.  They had been seeing each other on her lunch break for weeks and she even went and seen him Sunday when I was in church cause she didn’t go.  We did argue and then she said she wanted a D.  She’s persistent on it to.  She’s wanting to keep our house and me pay a lot in child support and she’s been texting him saying she’s gonna push for me to sign the D papers and lie about us having been separated.  So I’ve moved back into my house and have talked to a lawyer so that if anything I can at least drag this out to continue to pray for her and hope God changes her heart.  I didn’t do my dare yesterday cause of how crazy everything has got and how bad my head is spinning right now.  My anger has flared some but for the most part God has helped me stay calm the old me would’ve been in jail already.  Just everyone pray for me please right now and pray that my wife sees what she’s doing is wrong and make her open her eyes and heart up to wanting to make our marriage work.  I’m still reading the book and wasn’t going to do the dares.  I thought that I couldn’t fight for a woman that wanted to be with another man but tonight I’ve decided that I’m going do the dares and pray harder than ever.  Just please pray for us.

  • Did you find out about them communicating by snooping?  If so, stop immediately.  If God wants you to know something you will, without snooping.  Snooping brings out our flesh, in not trusting no matter what's happening that God is still in our corner and also if we find out something hurtful it brings us to taking control of God to fix things and we let our emotions rule what we do.

  • If you found out without snooping, well, you have a right to defend your marriage.  And in a kind way, yet a firm way, a right to confront her as well as him.  As Caleb did in the movie.  

    But as you found out, when you confront her, she will strike back as if you did something wrong and will push more for a d  or further separation.  To her that is the only logical step to take.  

  • If the papers aren't already written, do not contact a lawyer.  

    That's great you have decided to continue the dares.  If need be remember love is a verb.  A choice.  And it may come down to the only thing left to hold onto is leading your heart.  Keep doing the dares for Christ and your walk.  When the flesh wants to beat the other guy up, do not.  When it comes time to tell her off, do not.  When the flesh wants to do something, make sure you remember to Be Still and Know He is God.  

    Let Him have the vengeance.  For it is His to have.

    And pray not only for your wife, but you must pray for him as well.

  • She will wonder how on earth you are still standing after knowing she is talking to him.  And this may bring further anger or venom thrown at you from her.  But it will be for a time and will go back to where it was.  

    If she chooses to follow her emotions you must lead your heart.  And remain very consistent in always showing patience and kindness, to show her your testimony is not a ruse to win her back but is the real new you.  She needs to see that, the light of Christ in you.  

    It may be a struggle right now, but it will build a new endurance of Christ in you that leads to an even better character in you.  

    For now, Be still......and pray and read.

  • It's hard to maintain your sanity when you find out something like that. Remember that you can only control you own actions. She's making a stupid choice but you can't change it. She will see that someday but it may be a long time from now.

    I've read a lot about cheating spouses. One thing I read is that the feeling they get from that other person is like being on drugs. They will make stupid decisions and do anything to see or talk to that other person. Many times that comes crashing down after reality hits them and that other person and then they will have nothing. You will either be there waiting or moved on but it's their mistake. You have to take care of yourself.

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