Collaborate without boundaries

just started the love dare

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My husband and I just watched Fireproof 2 nights ago.  We've been working on our marriage since Christmas time when he told me he wanted to leave me because he "wasn't in love with me anymore."  He had taken off his weeding ring and has not put it back on yet.  Things have been a little better between us since we've been working on things and at least we recognize a problem and are communicating, but he is still holding back and won't fully commit to us.  Some days he's warmer and then he closes back up again and is cool and removed.  Oddly, after watching the movie he became more closed off from me.  I just don't understand this.  Since he had told me he wants to leave, I have turned to God full force.  I truly believe He is the key to our marriage, but I still struggle everyday.  My husband has expressed that he would like to become a more Godly man, but something is holding him back and he's not sure he wants to fully launch into a Godly life.  There is some sort of fear there, but I'm not sure what or why.  I am very much a person who likes everything in place and when something is broken I want to fix it - immediately - so I'm having a very hard time letting God's plan unfold in His time. 

After watching Fireproof, I realized that over the past few months I have done several of the dares already in attempts to make myself a better more loving wife.  Since watching the movie, I have decided to start the Love Dare officially and am on day 2.  Like many others, I expect to see some positive reaction from my husband right away.  It helps to hear from other people that they are in the same boat.  Although, I would like to hear from some people who have seen positive results and whose marriages are on the way to repair.  Every day is so difficult and I have a hard time getting the things done that I need to get done.  Any thoughts, encouragement, or shared experiences are welcome!

  • This will be a journey, between you and Christ, not you and him.  He will be used as a tool to mold you into loving like He loves us.  Do a dare a day, no more, no less.  And have no expectations of him when you do the dares.  In fact, it often gets worse before it gets better.  He will be on a roller coaster ride, going up and down in the days or months ahead.  This is where you need to be consistent in living what you learn in each dares.

    Do the dares as intended, without manipulating them to make them easier.  do not try to include your huband in doing the dares.  look at it as you are being called to do them.  Do not read ahead in the book other than the appendix, especially about leading the  heart.

  • It has been almost the same with my wife. I am in a similar situation, wife said she wasn't in love with me anymore, watched Fireproof which seemed to further her resolve toward us. I am on Day 44 and still struggle daily. But every day my hope grows, my faith grows, my love grows.

    As tim says though it's about yourself and your walk. Let your actions define you and grow.

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