God provided me with many opportunities to complete this dare. I felt I did it best when I brought up some financial stuff. I was trying to have a discussion about what was going on with his rent at work and how he was going to pay it. He told me he would take care of it and not to worry that he was selling some things. He then asked that we don't talk about it further. So I let it go. I forgot to tell him that I was putting his preference first. Ops. I will have to remeber that the next time I do this. He made other comments throughout the day that I just let slide. Before they would have turned into an argument because I would get pissy and go off on him. Today was kinda tough with Satan messing with me and reminding me of negative thoughts and images. I rebuke it with prayer and recite verses. It hit me a little harder tonight when I was driving and I shed some tears but kept on praying. When I got home I went into the bedroom and got on my knees and prayed and went to various bible verses to help me proclaim Gods love, strength, protection as comfort for me. I felt so much better and at peace. Hubby had been asking me what was wrong and I told him I didnt feel well. He asked of it was about him and his stuff. I told him it was negative thoughts. I told him no point in saying really. He asked me if it was thoughts or images? And if they are recurring i said yes. He pressed me to just tell him and I said I was thinking about the concert. (I caught him with the OW strolling down the street holding hands and embracing after a concert I had threatened him not to go to). For some crazy reason I was playing in my mind other destructive things I could have done that night. Yuck. Ugh! So he didn't say anything else and I'm grateful for that. I focused on washing the dishes and listened to a message from Charles Stanley. I praise God for the strength he gave me to get through the day. On another positive note. Hubby made some delicious BBQ chicken for dinner and has been attentive to my dietary needs. Praise God he is working on us both!
I do not recall that situation. So I assume the concert happened when you were not on the board?
Has it ended yet?
You dont always need to point out to him that youre putting his preference first. I know the dare says to do that, but you did the dare the way Christ intended correct?
You went to Him with everything today - positive and negative. Exactly what you need to do. Great job!
Sean. Yes it happened march 2011 before I started the LD. He claims it is over. Only God knows and him and the OW. There is a difference it seems this time but I'm afraid to believe him. He has told me that a million times before and hurt me so much. Best thing is for me to keep my focus on God! That's the major difference this time around I'm leaning on God for everything.
Thanks Jason and Jenn!
But here is a problem. To grow with God you need to grow in your marriage at some point. Remember, that is a covenent that is all apart of this.
Sean so grow in my marriage means I need to trust him again at some point? I read all these things about how he should be an open book. Open access to his phone, emails everything. He still has his cell phone locked and of course I don't have any his passwords. I'm not sure I want them cuz I don't want to babysit him, spy on him. Been there. Done that. So destructive. So he has to earn my trust again. It's a long hard road. I realized duh things feel different now cuz I am different! I do see and feel God healing his heart and working on him. I can't rely on stuff I read and have expectations. I've come too far to go back to that. I will remain strong in my faith and foundation of Gods love and strength.
It would be more that you trust Christ so much that you are not worried about things knowing that everything is Chirsts will.
Sean......thanks that makes total sense!