Collaborate without boundaries


  • Comments 5

Today I had to identify an area of division between LN and I. I did not need to think very hard to identify what I was doing to cause this division. There was so much conflict between his son and I, his mother and I, and his want to build a camp. I was very one sided and was not looking at his point of view, only my own. I was not trying to understand how he felt, just how I felt. Now I understand that this is my fault. I caused this turmoil. Note I'm asking for God to forgive me, show me how to be open minded and understanding of others feelings. 30 days in and I have already learnt so much. I pray I get another chance with my best friend.

  • Thank you, Hannahlynn2002 I was just feeling frantic and needed something to help, you are right. In my case my wife thinks I cheered on her but I didn't but she still left me and we have had no contact for months. her silence is so painful I don't know how to deal with it. What you said makes sense I didn't giver her reason not to belive it.and I need to understand how she feels. Again thank you.

  • The silence is gut wrenchingly painful. It's be 3 weeks since we have spoken and each day is painful. I turn to God for guidance and peace. I do my rosary every night and pray for him throughout the day ava dedicate my rosary to him. I pray God opens his heart and shows him my new unconventional love. Until that happens, I wait patiently and faithfully. Just keep praying.

  • I can't imagine not hearing or talking to my wife for so long.  I know for the first year(s) I often only saw her for minutes a day.  And it meant the world just to hear her grumble back to me by when she would leave for the night as I came rushing home from work.  

    But in this, it is an opportunity to grow more fully in Christ.  to find a way to be in peace vs misery without talking to your spouse.  That does not mean the pain goes away necessarily, but it can, but you can find peace and joy in this trial, without ever hearing from your spouse.

    Put God first, way above your spouse and peace will come.  Kind of like you are choosing a teammate.  And your two choices are God and your spouse.  Is it easy to choose God?  Is it tempting to choose your spouse even though you know the right answer is God?  

    Get to the point that you say there is no way you would even consider or wish you could pick your spouse first, and peace will come.

  • It can also help to choose to replace the longing for your spouse with feeling sorry for them.  That they are removing themselves from God's will.  And have to deal with something that is not fun to ignore like they are, God's conviction.  

  • First of all this is not your fault!!! I blamed myself for months after my wife left but as time goes on the fuzzy picture will begin to become clearer. You will see that it always takes two people to manage a relationship. Nothing can be blamed on one person. You two are one flesh.

    If you have repented you have done all you can. Your spouse needs to also repent. With a true understanding of God the relationship can work but again it takes two. Your spouse has to be as committed as you. God will work on them as He is on you.

    The conflict really should not exist. The relationship with your spouse is number two. A very distant number two behind the relationship with God. Get that priority straight and life will get much better. He needs to realize his son and his mother are not as important as his wife and he is the most important relationship in your life with the exception of God.

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