Ok, so I ranted on Friday and said I was over it. Well I took everyone's advice and decided Love believes the best. I spoke to him when I got home on Friday about what happened with him and my daughter. He told me his side, in front of her. They were both wrong. She was rude first and he admitted to acting her age by counteracting. We settled that and I felt better. He went to bed until it was time to go to work and then he left. I felt better about everything after our conversation though.
Saturday I woke up depressed. I don't know why. I felt like crap. I started going through his instagram account to prove a point about not having any pictures of me on it. Well, I was half right. He has one picture of me there only and its a dark picture. There were his birthdays that I set up and paid for, he only put up pics of himself with his friends, not any of the ones we took together. Events I went to support him in for his clothing line, he put up pics with his friends and celebrities, none of the ones we took together. Vacations, he put up pics of the kids, his mom, none of me. So I started thinking love believes the best, but what am I to believe when he makes me feel like I don't exist????? So I cried all morning. My sister called me and heard my voice, so she picked me up and took me to breakfast and for a quick workout. I got home in the afternoon and felt automatically better. I let all of that go, said a prayer to praise God and kept it moving with my day. I made lunch, we sat together and ate and talked. I made dinner, he ate again at the table with me and we spoke some more and laughed and made plans for our son's 4th birthday. He left shortly after that, but I was at ease because we were able to communicate effectively and happily. He told me where he was going and with who. He got home at 244 am. He woke me up because I fell asleep on the couch. I looked at him, hugged him, and said good night then went to bed.
Sunday was Day 20- Love is impossible. I was supposed to look at which of the dares seemed impossible. Well, it was dare 13- Love fights fair. I couldn't get him to sit down with me and do the rules. So I did them on my own and tried my best to make the best rules. I took some hints from Princesslouee, since I think we share a lot of common self issues. Today, I decided I was going to try again and go over them with him. He seemed interested and he told me he liked them and we should def try and go with these rules, they will help us to get along for the kids because were not together anymore, but we still have to get along. I ignored the us not being together bit and kept up with my positive demeanor, were still married, were still together, despite what he said.
Today is Day 21-Love is Satisfied in God. I've been reading from Bible 365 days. I think that's what its called. Either way, I read it everyday the way it tells me to. Sometimes I read for 2 days in one day.
I want to thank you all for encouraging me to not give up. I love my husband despite his sins, flaws, mistakes, whatever. I love him and Im sticking by him until God wants me to. :)