Collaborate without boundaries

Day 14

  • Comments 4

Day 14 was a failure for me.

I had to go out of town for my father in law and it took much longer than anticipated so I only got home in the evening. When I got home my wife was not at home so I carried on doing some of the chores around the house. When she got home I made some conversation. The kids were going to stay over at her parents place so she left soon after she got home. About 30 min later she gets back home after I made sure dinner was sorted she got dressed into her pj's and then rushed out again not telling me anything.

When she got home later again she had the kids with her, she was in tears and I found out her parents had an argument.

I tried my best to comfort her while she was in tears but she keeps pushing me away. I told her that I will always be here if she needs to talk and then she went to her room. shut the door and that was that...

  • God can use the argument her parents had for her and your good.  

    You mention she kept pushing you away.  Be careful in offering help over and over.  Our spouses can react harshly at that.  I remember in the beginning of this trial being told only ask my wife what's wrong once, and if she doesn't want to tell me to then leave it alone.  It was good advice for me.  Before if I pushed a bit in wanting to help it infuriated her and pushed her back.  So now I ask once, and if I get no response or  rejected I just say if you would like help or want to say anything later, please let me know.  

  • I only asked once and comforted her. Have learned not to keep on asking. That is why afterward I want and told her That I am always available if she wants to talk.

    Just meant that she keeps pushing me away in general.

  • If you learned that quickly not to keep asking, you are way smarter than me.  LOL.

    Good to hear.  

    When she pushes you away, don't let it get to you.  Just turn it around and think of all the times in your life you pushed God away and how He continued to be patient waiting for you, and then you do the same for her.

  • My therapist explains to me that my wife's brain has been wired so much one way over the years that it is now stuck in the mode it's in. Now it's going to take a long time to rewire it correctly, maybe years. It's up to me to change MY behavior and start that rewiring process. It starts with me. For you- it starts with you. Live by the fruits of the spirit.

    "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. "

    Galatians 5:22-23

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