Collaborate without boundaries

Day 10

  • Comments 5

I have done day 10. It went fairly well. She didn't just blow it away as usual but I can still feel us moving further and further apart from each other.

Every time she talks to me though it is as she wants to start fighting and that really is getting me very down.

I have asked her to try and look past my old self and rather try to embrace the new me. 

My old self is merely a shadow of whom I have become in this short time. I am trying to move beyond my past but she keeps throwing that at me.

I am still with God on this journey but just not sure if I so much into saving my marriage anymore. It feels like I am moving beyond my marriage and just embracing Christ more.

God bless you all.

  • I feel like my wife and I are moving further and further apart. She's cold like a block of ice. We can't talk about anything without it leading to a fight. I say it's her. She says it's me. Who knows. All I know is that I'm doing what the Bible commands me to and honoring God by loving my wife unconditionally.

    I can tell you from months of experience that anything you SAY will be negative. She will not believe you have changed until she sees it. And unfortunately that can take years. Actions speak louder than words. She is broken right now and it takes time to heal that brokenness. Also anything you SAY will be twisted and used against you. Yesterday my wife told me that the noise the kids and I were making was too much and said that's one of the things that has bothered her over the years. I tried to empathize with her and said I understand because its like when she leaves the TV on all night. That immediately turned into ME pointing fingers at HER which is NOT what I intended. The best thing to do right now is keep the communication at a minimum unless it's with a Christian marriage therapist or doing the dares.

    "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

    Proverbs 15:1

  • She is going to make it feel like you are moving farther apart and will try to pick fights or cause tension to be between you both.  This helps her justify her thoughts and behavior and also to show you she has not let her wall down.

    And remember, it gets worse before it gets better.  Maybe this is the worse part.  

    She will have to see the new you for some time.  Right now she thinks it's just a ploy to win her back.  and  this new you may make her more angry, with her thinking, why wasn't he always like this.  

  • Don't confuse letting go of the marriage or not caring so much for it any more with your new found comfort and growth in Christ.  

    And when you feel you don't want to stand for the marriage, if you ever get to that point, remember, lead your heart.  And  stand for the covenant that you made with her and God.  

    Right now, keep embracing Christ and let Him deal with her and the marriage.  

  • It is just very difficult to try and make out what I should believe and what not to.

    She is carrying on like a very devout Christian but at the same time trying to twist some verses as to suite her and what she thinks. Using half a verse for example to make it all seem like what she is doing is fine. I am trying to lead my heart to my fullest, it is not easy, and I don't think I am doing half bad but she still keeps getting to me by throwing the past back in my face the whole time.

  • You're preaching to the choir brother. My wife is the same. Are we married to the same woman? LOL I've been going through this for eight months. I promise you, even if she continues, if you devote yourself to Christ you will be fine. If she thinks her decision to leave the marriage can be justified she is WRONG. There's no way to debate the truth that is in the Bible but at the same time you can't control her. She can disobey God if she wants. There will be consequences but she will have to discover that on her own. You are not her judge. You can only control yourself and you will only be accountable for yourself. Continue to pray and ask God to reveal His will to you.

Page 1 of 1 (5 items)